Goddammit

My most favourite rejection letter so far:

Thank you for submitting your application for an articling position with [Nice Law Firm that Took the Time to Let Me Down Gently]

At this time, our firm does not intend to hire an articling student. Nevertheless, we were most impressed with your application and trust that you will be successful in your search for a position.

We wish you all the best in your future endeavours, and we remain,

Yours very truly,
[Nice Law Firm that Took the Time to Let Me Down Gently]

My least favourite rejection letter so far:

Thank you for your application for an articling position with [Law Firm that Just Did a Mass E-mail Merge]. We appreciate your interest in our firm.

Unfortunately, we cannot offer you a position. Thank you again for your interest. We wish you success in your future endeavours.

Yours very truly,
[Law Firm that Just Did a Mass E-mail Merge]

Current interest in my life ....

GO PRE!

More Verbatim

Today's little golden nugget from Number 1's secretary.

She gave me an assignment of doing another land transaction summary today and I have to admit that I like doing them since they keep me busy when Numbers 1-3 get caught up in their own work and forget to give me work to do. After she gave me the documents she looked at me and said in a conspiratorial whisper:

Remember, you're not doing this for me, you're doing this for [the company].

Spectacular, non? It's like she's trying to indoctrinate me. I'm trying to figure out if I have a put-out look on my face when she gives me these things to do, but I'm pretty sure that I don't. I make sure to always have a smile affixed to my face while in the office (life is just easier at the office with a smile instead of a sour expression) and I've perfected my work laugh (yes, just like that episode of Friends) so that it doesn't come off disingenuous or condescending.

By the way, I highly recommend having a work laugh. It's a perfect filler for when co-workers say something astounding/irrelevant/not funny/all of the above.

More than meets the eye ...

What can I say except that Transformers is a good summer movie - explosions, one-liners, car chases, fighting robots, product placement etc .... This was definitely worth my hard earned cash, more fun than two giant robot phalluses up my rectum.

PS. What is up with Megatron's trigger placement.

PPS. I have terrible gas today. I let one rip in my office. The fart smelled so bad that I propped the door open. I thought to myself, "Geez, I hope no one comes to my foul smelling office." Two minutes later the boss made a visit.

My Puss-Filled Scabby Knee

This spite-filled post goes out to Sock Monkeys 1 and 3 since "girly" posts are deemed unacceptable.

I had softball last night and the following are the highlights:

• I caught a fly ball! I celebrated by jumping up and down with joy since this was a very rare occurrence.


• I missed catching the ball at home plate thus allowing the other team to score a run.


• The bases were loaded when it was one of my turns to bat, I struck out.


• I scored two runs! Funny story, on the second run the base coach messed me up and so I tried making a break for home. But the catcher caught the ball and had his eye on me so I had to run back to third base.

• I tripped running back to the base and got a a nasty gash right below my knee

• I went to work today with a Winne the Pooh band-aid that I swiped from Z's drawer (sorry, Z!) on my knee. Unfortunately the skin by the gash keeps flexing so it's not scabbing correctly and is consequently filled with puss and is oozing.

• I bought Curious George band-aids (Z, do you like Curious George? I also saw Spiderman band-aids at the store if you want those instead) at lunch so I will have a delightfully curious monkey following me around at work for the rest of the week.

Update: Hey! My camera can take crisp photos!

More Work Verbatim

For this past week the office's cooling system could best be described as "shiteous". One of my outfits in my work-wardrobe rotation is a grey knee-length baby-doll dress with princess sleeves, typically worn with black leggings and my black mary-janes with a 2.5" stacked heel. Since this week was disgustingly hot I decided to forgo the leggings but before I left the house I made sure that my hem and neckline were work appropriate and that the dress was suitably opaque.

This is what Number 1's awful secretary said to me the minute she laid eyes on me:

Preparing for another hot day in the office?

The hell?! Did she just tell me that I was dressed like a streetwalker?!

I spent half of the morning polling my work friends and they were all just as puzzled as me. Our only conclusion was that a baby-doll dress and 2.5" heels aren't typical office attire. But considering that some co-workers look like they just rolled out of bed, I don't think I should be judged for my heels and the fact that I care about my personal appearance and personal hygiene. Jesus, it's not like I came into work wearing a mini-skirt and 2.5" stilettos, whore make-up and un-washed hair.


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