No homo ...

Franz: Hello! We're back!

Hans: I am Hans.

Franz: And I am Franz.

Together: And we just want to.. [ clap ] Pump.. you up!

Hans: Alright. But before we can pump you up tonight, we have to answer a piece of viewer mail.

Franz: Ya. Ya. This is a letter we received from a Bill Tompkins. I'll only read an excerpt, so I don't go into his loser details. "Dear Hans & Franz: I have recently seen your.. mo-.. mo-"

Hans: Moronic.

Franz: "..Your moronic show, and have wondered why you don't open your own gym. Maybe you are too stupid." [ crumples letter ] You know, maybe you thought this letter would make us angry; but it only makes us sad.

Hans: Really, ya. We are sad, you know, because anyone who calls us "stupid" is really just jealous. Because their girlfriend looks at us, then looks at him, and realzies she's cuddling up with a little girly-man!

Franz: Ya. Ya, girly-man. Hear me now and believe me later - but don't think about it ever, because, if you try to think, you might cause a flabulance!

Hans: Ya!

Dining as sport ....

My numero uno pale pal here in SD was feeling pretty great on Sunday. Why you may ask? He ate 30 gyozas (known as Jiaozi to us more refined folks). I was underwhelmed, I have seen my younger brother inhale plates. There may have to be eating portion added to the Battle Royale this fall. The events will be as follows - running, swimming, arm wrestling and gluttony. Who's in?
(source)

Blog Mischief

Office Mischief...

So 7-11 here is always giving out free trinkets with purchases. People love collecting this stuff. A while back, they were giving out little paper, cut out dogs. This girl at the office managed to get the whole set and line them all up above her desk at the office. Those dogs were looking too cute, so I had to do something about it:

Happy Birthday, Sock Monkey #3

source

Memento

I went to Wonderland on the weekend and witnessed the following scene.

My friends and I just got off the Water Canyon ride and were exiting the ride via a path that was beside the entrance line. We heard loud squawking and when we got closer we saw a group of ghetto girls with the most ghetto one was yelling into her phone with “Mom! I just snapped! I had to do it!”

We were puzzled but kept walking. One friend spied something on the ground, something that looked like a fat fuzzy caterpillar. We saw another, and another. My other friend shouted “That’s someone’s weave!” There were torn-out hair extensions on the ground!

We kept walking and saw security walking in. We kept walking and then we heard shouts of “No! Let go!”