Dude Looks Like a....Monchichi Doll?

I'm right now in Edmonton and saw J whom I haven't seen for about 2 1/2 years. He lost the shaggy hair and went from looking like a Hong Kong pop idol to a Japanese toy .

More Tales of My Dirty House

The kitchen is in better shape this week. Stuff gets put into the dishwasher more quickly and there is less crap left on the counter....well, on the top of it anyway. I was leaning on the counter today and when I pulled away my shirt was stuck to the counter so I had to PEEL MY SHIRT AWAY from the counter.

so i sent an email out to a few of you, but i don't know if you guys still use the same email address...so i'll just copy and paste to this blog.

bored at work or whatever it is that you are doing? this could be your lucky day b/c you can go through "art" and help me out!

recently i applied for Projekt30's gallery show for may 2006 in which only 30 artists will be participating. right now, all applicants' (and there's quite a few) art pieces are online for public voting. so through my calculations, i figured that in order for me to be part of the real show, i need to be one of the 30 people with the highest number of votes. so this all depends on you!

go to this website: http://www.projekt30.com/jury.html
and then go to "jury the exhibition" on the left. look for my name and give me a rating of 5 and all the others 1's! actually... just can skip everybody and once you see my name, give me a 5 so the others don't get any points from you guys. however, some of the people do have good stuff. but, i still only gave them a 2 or 3.
it may take awhile before you actually see my turn come up b/c the order of people is random but plllease do this for me b/c i need to whore my name around the art world and this would help me out.

because i applied to the show, Projekt30 also has given me a webspace. the site: www.daphnelo.30art.com

pretty pretty please vote for me. please take the time to go through all the pages of people and finding my name and giving me a highly suggested 5.
please send this to your family, your friends, people i know and don't know, people i forgot to send this email to...everybody! you all will be helping a good cause and i will love each and everyone of you...even more!

thanks everybody. hope you're all doing well.

daph

Minor Annoyance

There are two things in the news presently that annoy me. One, the Iran nuclear enrichment and two, the Duke Lacrosse team rape case.

1) Iran
The thing really gets me in this is the lack of a consistent Bush foreign policy. Iran does not even have nuclear weapons, and yet we allow a nut case country like North Korea to exist? Going to war with Iran will send oil prices sky high and will lead to a global recession, and not to mention 9/11 will look like kid's stuff.

2) Duke LAX
This case has Tawna Brawley written all over it. I predict that the Lacrosse team will be cleared, and conspiracy theories of a cover-up will abound. I would suggest that after all the hullaballoo, Duke University should sue the shit out of the D.A. for libel and defamation, and for good measure the accuser. People like this should not be allowed to exist.

Anyways, these two things are unimportant. What is important is my animal death match idea! Do you thing a Kodiak bear could fight 10 pitbulls? Or how about 20 bob cats fighting a male adult elephant? Or what about lion versus a rodeo bull? Those bulls are mean motherfuckers.

Paddling out in Rhode Island

My pal Darren went to RI last weekend. He came back with these pictures from a secret spot. Those left breaks look awesome. He told me it was breaking like that all day. I respect these guys so much knowing how flipping cold the water is. I feel like such a chump complaining about surfing in 58 degree water here. It is close to 50 degrees there, that is colder than cold.

If this is East Coast surf, then why isn't the NYC pos on this blog paddling out? Looks like an awesome place to go.

"Well Now, That is Some Fucked Up Shit Right There"

I watched what was possibly the greatest movie of my life last night. If you haven't watched "Slither" yet, I recommend putting down whatever it is that you're doing and going to the theatres to watch it immediately.

Go do it, I'll wait here for you.

All right, so you've watched it now? Now do you understand what I mean when I say that this movie is awesome? This campy horror movie has so many great one-liners that I'm going to make it my mission in life (at least for the next month or so) to work them into my everyday conversations. Particularily this one: "It's like looking for a needle in a fuck-stack."

Living in Squalor

While I adore my roommates they are either slobs or can't be bothered to help out (with the exception of one girl who is like me and fed up with the other two's messes) (I think I'm going to miss that roommate the most).

I am baffled by the inability of one girl to take the extra two steps to put something in the recycle bin which is IN THE KITCHEN and instead just leaves it on the counter. Or the other girl's inability to put stuff in the dishwasher and instead just leaves things in the sink. Two of her pots are currently in the sink that have been sitting there SINCE THE WEEKEND.

I have a theory that if those two lived by themselves the house would burn down because one of them forgot to turn off the stove and the fire would be fuelled by the un-wiped grease on the stovetop. Then the fire would spread to the rest of the kitchen because of the overflowing garbage that hadn't been taken out yet.

Joshua Tree National Park

I went to Joshua Tree National park this weekend with my better half. We hiked and climbed around boulders in the desert. Saw some neat rock formations (left: Skull Rock). We stayed in Palm Springs in a little Villa. Nothing funny or scandalous happened.

Kids ask the darndest things

So I had a little conversation with my colleague the other day:

Him: so who's your favorite tennis player?
Me: i don't really have one.
Him: what? you don't watch tennis on tv?
Me: well, not really.
Him: How do you learn to play then???

At that point, I was just like "huhhh?"

If i knew you could learn stuff just by watching how it's done on tv, I've been wasting my time. I could've learned to surf already just by sitting at a bar and watching those videos. It's just like The Matrix! Just get jacked in and away we go.

"I know kung-fu."

Let us all take five minutes ...

and pray for Little Thingies foot. Please do not let the gonnorhea spread further from his foot. Can I get AMEN! Can I get a PRAISE THE LORD!!!!! YEAH!!!!!!

Dinner

Last night me and my better half had dinner with C-rap and his lady friend. It was a tasty dinner at Las Olas the local mexican restaurant. I had a grilled fish torta, C-rap had rolled tacos, chixwithknives had a tostada, and the lady friend had baja fish tacos.

Anyways, the highlight of the evening was observing chixwithknives interacting with said lady friend. It was like watching a tooth extraction. Every question was answered by a single word response from C-rap's friend. Even loaded questions were answered with a single word. It was quite entertaining and painful at the same time.

For example the response to the question, "Who did you go to China with?" was answered with, "A group." Hello!!!???? It was like watching an adult talking to a little child. I have seen 12 year olds who had better skillz (i.e., JHR's son). Maybe she was shy, but at the age of 22 I would expect there to be some sort of conversational facilities. Even her body language suggested she was socially stunted. She was like a human Harlow monkey. On the drive home I wondered what those two talked about.

Mirrormask and my foot

Saw another interesting movie this weekend:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0366780

You should check it out, very nice-looking film. It's a Jim Henson production, along the lines of Labrynth and the Dark Crystal. And speaking of Dark Crystal, I hear there's a sequel coming out or something.


In other news, i have some wierd but bite on my foot. It looks like it was stung by a jellyfish. Starting from the ball of my foot, it looks like i have the Puma symbol (the swooosh) going up my foot. It's wierd. I'm guessing i was bitten by a spider or something (I see no bite mark), no mosquito leaves a mark like that. The itchiness really sucks and it feels tender. But at least it's not infected or anything.

Any opinions from any doctors??

This morning I was awoken by a rumble. All the windows in the house shook. For a second I thought a large truck drove by my window. Then I th0ught "maybe it was an earthquake?" This seemed unlikely as the dog did not wig out. I checked the seismic activity government site and they reported no earthquakes for SD. Then I find out they are blowing shit up at the local marine base 50 miles away. SHIT! That is one enormous mortar blast.

More Golden Bear memories of Hub Mall ...

I am going to start posting Space Moose comics for my entries. So much more entertaining. I really miss hanging out at Hub Mall. Where else can you make fun of all those freakin' Koreans? I have heard some of the most idiotic conversations from that race. For example, one time a Korean girl (who's name I will not mention) rationalized to me that that it was God's will that she failed her chem mid-term. WTF????? It is more like she did not study and spent all her time in the library socializing with the other low-life Koreans.

Timeout

I realize there's a lot of aggression and broken dreams on this site. Some of you need a timeout so I refer you to this site:

http://www.cuteoverload.com/

Just relax and take it all in.

A PhD in defecation

For all of us Golden Bears out there ....