Guitar Hero

Did you watch last week's South Park episode? Can't you just imagine Little Thingies and SFS doing this every day in HK? Watch the YouTube clip.

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FIRE

Fire broke out yesterday morning east of us. We had desert winds this weekend which did not help - hot, gusty and dry. The air is hard to breathe and ash falls. The sunset last night was spectacular. Today the campus is closed. My friend Connie is evacuating and I am busy looking for documents that I need to keep with me. What to do with the dog? After packing I should see if I can catch a matinee showing.

Spiderman

Holy crap, people! Last night I discovered an enormous spiderweb at the front entrance of my apartment. Words can't adequately describe the size of the web. I'd say it was roughly the size of a basketball. Really! It was even spherical in shape since there were multiple webs to lend it a 3-D quality. It was hard to see in the daylight but last night it was perfectly lit up and I could see that it was home to four huge spiders!

You can see the size of the spiders in the first picture. And the second picture is fuzzy but you can see the size of the web and the amount of insects caught in it.

Thinking Out Loud

I'm debating whether or not to funnel my obsession with pop. culture through a more useful (at least for me) conduit. I'm thinking of doing my Advanced Torts term paper on whether celebrities deserve more or less protection in terms of privacy law when dealing with the paparazzi. I think it's the only way to sustain my interest for a 30-page paper. The prof is open and easy-going and wouldn't care if I did this topic or "abolishing jury trials in Canadian civil litigation".

Do you think I'd be allowed to add screenshots from Perez Hilton in there?

And I'm adding the SD turtle picture in this post as well since it's too fantastic not to post. C'mon, it's funny!

Good-bye summer, hello fall ...

For reasons to numerous to list, it has been a pretty dope summer. Family and friends dropped by, running and surfing, various running races and good food really made it something special. I was especially happy with my family visiting. It was nice to have everyone over and hanging out at our place - shit talking, drinking, arm wrestling, Guitar Hero all ensued. I am also stoked CS and CR got to be part of this too! Thanks to all for coming to our shin dig and hope to see you all next year in Hawaii.
Publish Post

Roll Call!

Currently present for the festivities:

• Heidi
• SFS
• Chix with Knives
• J
• Cherry
• Peter

Still awaiting:

• LT
• Hawaiian Five-0
  
• British N
  
• A-Guy
• PY
• A-Gien

Hells yeah, this weekend is going to be ridiculous!

No homo ...

Franz: Hello! We're back!

Hans: I am Hans.

Franz: And I am Franz.

Together: And we just want to.. [ clap ] Pump.. you up!

Hans: Alright. But before we can pump you up tonight, we have to answer a piece of viewer mail.

Franz: Ya. Ya. This is a letter we received from a Bill Tompkins. I'll only read an excerpt, so I don't go into his loser details. "Dear Hans & Franz: I have recently seen your.. mo-.. mo-"

Hans: Moronic.

Franz: "..Your moronic show, and have wondered why you don't open your own gym. Maybe you are too stupid." [ crumples letter ] You know, maybe you thought this letter would make us angry; but it only makes us sad.

Hans: Really, ya. We are sad, you know, because anyone who calls us "stupid" is really just jealous. Because their girlfriend looks at us, then looks at him, and realzies she's cuddling up with a little girly-man!

Franz: Ya. Ya, girly-man. Hear me now and believe me later - but don't think about it ever, because, if you try to think, you might cause a flabulance!

Hans: Ya!

Dining as sport ....

My numero uno pale pal here in SD was feeling pretty great on Sunday. Why you may ask? He ate 30 gyozas (known as Jiaozi to us more refined folks). I was underwhelmed, I have seen my younger brother inhale plates. There may have to be eating portion added to the Battle Royale this fall. The events will be as follows - running, swimming, arm wrestling and gluttony. Who's in?
(source)

Blog Mischief

Office Mischief...

So 7-11 here is always giving out free trinkets with purchases. People love collecting this stuff. A while back, they were giving out little paper, cut out dogs. This girl at the office managed to get the whole set and line them all up above her desk at the office. Those dogs were looking too cute, so I had to do something about it:

Happy Birthday, Sock Monkey #3

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Memento

I went to Wonderland on the weekend and witnessed the following scene.

My friends and I just got off the Water Canyon ride and were exiting the ride via a path that was beside the entrance line. We heard loud squawking and when we got closer we saw a group of ghetto girls with the most ghetto one was yelling into her phone with “Mom! I just snapped! I had to do it!”

We were puzzled but kept walking. One friend spied something on the ground, something that looked like a fat fuzzy caterpillar. We saw another, and another. My other friend shouted “That’s someone’s weave!” There were torn-out hair extensions on the ground!

We kept walking and saw security walking in. We kept walking and then we heard shouts of “No! Let go!”

Goddammit

My most favourite rejection letter so far:

Thank you for submitting your application for an articling position with [Nice Law Firm that Took the Time to Let Me Down Gently]

At this time, our firm does not intend to hire an articling student. Nevertheless, we were most impressed with your application and trust that you will be successful in your search for a position.

We wish you all the best in your future endeavours, and we remain,

Yours very truly,
[Nice Law Firm that Took the Time to Let Me Down Gently]

My least favourite rejection letter so far:

Thank you for your application for an articling position with [Law Firm that Just Did a Mass E-mail Merge]. We appreciate your interest in our firm.

Unfortunately, we cannot offer you a position. Thank you again for your interest. We wish you success in your future endeavours.

Yours very truly,
[Law Firm that Just Did a Mass E-mail Merge]

Current interest in my life ....

GO PRE!

More Verbatim

Today's little golden nugget from Number 1's secretary.

She gave me an assignment of doing another land transaction summary today and I have to admit that I like doing them since they keep me busy when Numbers 1-3 get caught up in their own work and forget to give me work to do. After she gave me the documents she looked at me and said in a conspiratorial whisper:

Remember, you're not doing this for me, you're doing this for [the company].

Spectacular, non? It's like she's trying to indoctrinate me. I'm trying to figure out if I have a put-out look on my face when she gives me these things to do, but I'm pretty sure that I don't. I make sure to always have a smile affixed to my face while in the office (life is just easier at the office with a smile instead of a sour expression) and I've perfected my work laugh (yes, just like that episode of Friends) so that it doesn't come off disingenuous or condescending.

By the way, I highly recommend having a work laugh. It's a perfect filler for when co-workers say something astounding/irrelevant/not funny/all of the above.

More than meets the eye ...

What can I say except that Transformers is a good summer movie - explosions, one-liners, car chases, fighting robots, product placement etc .... This was definitely worth my hard earned cash, more fun than two giant robot phalluses up my rectum.

PS. What is up with Megatron's trigger placement.

PPS. I have terrible gas today. I let one rip in my office. The fart smelled so bad that I propped the door open. I thought to myself, "Geez, I hope no one comes to my foul smelling office." Two minutes later the boss made a visit.

My Puss-Filled Scabby Knee

This spite-filled post goes out to Sock Monkeys 1 and 3 since "girly" posts are deemed unacceptable.

I had softball last night and the following are the highlights:

• I caught a fly ball! I celebrated by jumping up and down with joy since this was a very rare occurrence.


• I missed catching the ball at home plate thus allowing the other team to score a run.


• The bases were loaded when it was one of my turns to bat, I struck out.


• I scored two runs! Funny story, on the second run the base coach messed me up and so I tried making a break for home. But the catcher caught the ball and had his eye on me so I had to run back to third base.

• I tripped running back to the base and got a a nasty gash right below my knee

• I went to work today with a Winne the Pooh band-aid that I swiped from Z's drawer (sorry, Z!) on my knee. Unfortunately the skin by the gash keeps flexing so it's not scabbing correctly and is consequently filled with puss and is oozing.

• I bought Curious George band-aids (Z, do you like Curious George? I also saw Spiderman band-aids at the store if you want those instead) at lunch so I will have a delightfully curious monkey following me around at work for the rest of the week.

Update: Hey! My camera can take crisp photos!

More Work Verbatim

For this past week the office's cooling system could best be described as "shiteous". One of my outfits in my work-wardrobe rotation is a grey knee-length baby-doll dress with princess sleeves, typically worn with black leggings and my black mary-janes with a 2.5" stacked heel. Since this week was disgustingly hot I decided to forgo the leggings but before I left the house I made sure that my hem and neckline were work appropriate and that the dress was suitably opaque.

This is what Number 1's awful secretary said to me the minute she laid eyes on me:

Preparing for another hot day in the office?

The hell?! Did she just tell me that I was dressed like a streetwalker?!

I spent half of the morning polling my work friends and they were all just as puzzled as me. Our only conclusion was that a baby-doll dress and 2.5" heels aren't typical office attire. But considering that some co-workers look like they just rolled out of bed, I don't think I should be judged for my heels and the fact that I care about my personal appearance and personal hygiene. Jesus, it's not like I came into work wearing a mini-skirt and 2.5" stilettos, whore make-up and un-washed hair.


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This One is Also Sung in the Key of FUCK YEAH!

The Spice Girls are back together, this is fucking RIGHT ON, STRAIGHT UP AND DOWN, MAN! For those that missed out the first time around, this is your chance to get a clue. And to remind you of the brilliance, here is the link to the best 4 minutes and 4 seconds of your life. If you don't think this is greatness to the power of 110, then your name is Ms. FUCKING WRONGENSTEIN.

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This one is sung in the key of FUCK YEAH!

The Verve are back together, this is fucking RIGHT ON, STRAIGHT UP AND DOWN MAN! For those that missed out the first time around, this is your chance to get a clue. And to remind you of the brilliance, here is the link to the best 4 minutes and 38 seconds of your life. If you don't think this is greatness to the power of 110, then your name is Mr. FUCKING WRONGENSTEIN.

FUCK YEAH! It is 1997 all over again!!!!!

I Never Meet Any Normal Guys

The background story: I made tentative plans with EQ on Wednesday for today, Sunday. He wasn't sure if he was free but he said he'd let me know by Friday what the deal was. I didn't hear from him all week until 7:48pm today via text message.

Hey Heidi sorry about today. Ended up helping my friend with the bbq

Wow. It's almost spectacular; I've never met a guy before that cared just enough to contact the girl after standing her up and after such a serious length of lag time. Have any of you guys ever pulled such a shithead of a move before?

Picture from Mud Run '07

We were THOSE GUYS! (i.e., Did you see THOSE GUYS? or THOSE GUYS think they are really funny! or I wish THOSE GUYS would shut the fuck up!"). In reality it was more like, "THOSE GUYS kicked our asses in the race."

What a riot!!

Ok, you guys will not believe this, J actually made a joke that i laughed at. We were talking about people stuck at our company X for life (this place has the tendency to trap you in a dead-end dept that you'll never escape). I call it the IT effect. You know what J called it?

Life without payroll

Get it??? YUK YUK YUK! He must be drinking on the job again to come up with zingers like that!

A Good Day

Friday was a day full of Good Times. Highlights include:

• Eating oatmeal cookies for breakfast
• Look, I know I said I'd give up junk food, but it's hard, okay?
  
• Getting paid
• Getting off work at 3:00
  
• Going to Medieval Times for my very first time with Pru-bert for Z's grade one graduation
• There's something kind of fun about eating half a roasted chicken with just my bare hands
• Our knight lost nearly all his challenges, but he still gets an E for effort
  
• Going to Schmooze afterwards. The place with the $2.50 Happy Hour and where LT and his friend got denied entrance that one time because they didn't have collared shirts on
• Went and met up with EQ
  
• Got hit on by EQ's bi-sexual female friend
• Finally conquering the Gardiner Expressway and Lakeshore Boulevard for driving around downtown Toronto

Hair club for men ...

My age is catching up to me. My hair is thinning on top of my head. This is really depressing. I don't think there are any cool bald people. Case in point: Phil Collins. FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fantastic Four - Rise of the Vomit in my Mouth

I cannot stress enough how much I hated this movie. If ever there was a movie that could be described as "all the good parts are shown in the trailer," this is it. The only way I can describe this turd- pointless. The Silver Surfer character is so pointless, they could've written him out of the story (but then they wouldn't have a reason for making this shit). He just mumbles a few lines, Jessica Alba stands around looking hot, Dr. Doom shoots lightning bolts, and hell comes to Earth in the shape of a giant fart cloud.

This is Galactus

This ISN'T Galactus

I'd rather sit at home with 2 cocks in my mouth, so none for this movie.

Self explanatory post.

Store in Bird Rock neighborhood.

Bedtime stories

Here's a conversation over email i had the other day with Hawaiian Five-O (she had bolted straight up in bed the previous night):

Me: Was i dreaming or did you really suddenly wake up last night and yell "SHIT" because my farts were really bad?

Her: no !! you were not dreaming!! i woke up by your stinky farts once AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I almost puke!!! =p

Me: i thought you yelled SHIT because we both forgot to wake up or something. But then i smelled how bad the farts were under the covers and realized that's what you were screaming about. that's so funny..

Her: no .. i asked you "did you fart again?" you said "NOoo" and i thought i smelled something funny from outside so i tried covered my face with the blanket ... then i realized no!!! it is really your fart!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i almost gonna throw away the blanket!!!!!!!!!!! this is not funny!! this is the second time i woke up by your stinkie fart!! >_<~~~~~~

The two sock monkeys ....

in HK are threatening me with great bodily harm this September. After I stated the events of fitness to be, one of them said he was going to have to excuse himself. The excuse being that he wanted to be the photographer for those events. I am calling you out as a Person Under Severe Stress Yo (aka PUSSY)!

"And Four, You've Been Yelled At!"

The girl on the left is one of my friends that took a picture as well. And if you look beyond her you can make out a large barrel-shaped security guard getting ready to yell at us.

Cupcakes!

I Don't Take Very Good Pictures

This is probably my most interesting picture from my NY trip. Unless you want to see a picture of Magnolia cupcakes.

The good shit ...

Another photo from our kid brother. I wonder what she is thinking?

Verbatim

For my summer job I'm the lackey to the three in-house lawyers which I shall henceforth refer to as Number 1, Number 2 and Number 3, as based on their seniority. Number 1's secretary absolutely drives me crazy. She's a nice woman but with every conversation I have with her I can feel myself aging. She goes into so much detail it's as if she's giving me the play-by-play of her thought process.

The other day we had to edit some proxy forms and when she brought me her revisions this is what she said:

In the old copy, the address was on three lines. But with this copy I put everything on the same line.

Review: 28 Weeks Later

As a standard zombie-survival movie, this movie is pretty kickass. Non-stop gore and lots of visceral, frantic action. As a sequel though, it falls pretty short of the original. In the original, it wasn't the zombies you needed to be afraid of, but your fellow man and human nature itself. This one forgets all of that and just includes plenty of sniper-on-zombie hot loving action.

But there are 2 complete lapses in logic (required to advance story) that i found to be completely distracting. And while the first one featured a memorable eye-gouging, why is it done repeatedly here for no apparent reason?

They recycle the music from the the first one as well. While the first one started as subtle background music gradually increasing to a full climax by the end, this time it's just played at full blast from the get go. Don't know why anyone would care to know that, but it made the pacing feel awkward. Climax-worthy action as soon as the movie starts.

And HSBC HQ was featured so prominently in many scenes, I was waiting for them to blow the shit out of it. Sorta like how they assploded Toronto City Hall in Resident Evil 2. Also, I haven't seen the helicopter so effectively used since Underworld: Evolution. That's cinema gold right there.

If you're not busy stroking cock this weekend, go watch it.

Good Food

I should've taken a picture of the lobster bisque P made. Anyway, it was great.

My Summer Begins

Just settled in at Pru-bert's place. I'm staying here for the summer while I'm working. I can look forward to 3 1/2 months of glorious paycheques and no exams. Good times indeed!

Review: Spiderman 3

Just goes to show critics have inexplicably bad taste (Crash anyone??) and probably some form of ADD. To people saying this movie is a tear-fest Spiderman 90210 - f u. Why didn't you gag during Spiderman 2 when MJ says "but i've always been standing at your door"? If you enjoyed the previous movies, you can't say this one is inferior. It's more of the same, just a lot more.

The drama between Peter/MJ/Harvey is as you'd expect, just a continuation of the previous movies. Dancing dark Peter is awesome, MJ is sweet as usual, and Harvey gets his deserved spotlight. The villains aren't as satisfying as Green Goblin or Dr. Octopus, but they get the job done. Redemption and forgiveness are the themes here. The action is completely over the top, if only a little more physics-defying - Spiderman seems to be a weightless ragdoll most of the time.

Don't want to spoil anything about Topher Grace (I'm sure most already know who he plays). Sure he's able to play an asshole and be funny, but he's seriously miscast here. He's a twerp and not threatening at all.

Watch out for Bruce Campbell, proving once again why he deserves to be a huge star.

Don't be gay, go watch it.

Krabi, Thailand: Part 1

Some photos from my vacation, just shots i quickly picked out because my parents wanted to see.

More photos and stories to come at a later date!

Back to the Student Ghetto Life

I'm leaving E-town tonight and will be in K-Hole by tomorrow morning and then I'll be leaving for T-Dot on Saturday. As I'm packing up my suitcase I'm rummaging through the cupboards to see what food I can take back with me since I don't have any groceries in my apartment. I just stole 4 cans of Campbell's chicken noodle soup and a box of green tea.

My ride this weekend.

Went to SF this weekend. Jen's friends own Cary Grant's Sunbeam Tiger. He drove me around town in it. We went to Muir Woods in the Tiger. I felt like Dustin Hoffman as we crossed the Golden Gate Bridge. Hung out in Noe Valley, Mission, East Bay and Haight. Jen's friend is Airforce Jump and Rescue. Apparently, they are way harder than a Navy Seal. This guy could kill a bear with his bare hands while jumping out of a exploding helicopter.

Brain test

Someone answer this:

You have 32 teams, how many games are played in total if each team plays against every other team twice?

Me and J arrived at the same answer using different methods even though he thought my logic was flawed. We have PhD's, doctors, lawyers, bankers, designers, engineers, etc, i wanna see how each person comes up with the answer (edit) from scratch without looking up the formula.

Hot Fuzz

Don't be gay, go see it.

Korean collective guilt and pride

NPR had a report this morning about the South Korean reaction to the shooting at VT - a collective guilt hangs over the country. A similar reaction was observed for Korean stem cell scientist Hwang Woo-suk when he was exposed as a dipshit. On the flip side, prior to the Science paper being discredited a collective national pride was the zeitgeist. This sort of behavior gave the impression the general populace were right next to him in the laboratory and that the national IQ had increased 20 points.

From a cultural sociological view point, it is very interesting to observe the consequences of such coat tail riding behavior on a national level. As a personal aside, I saw this growing up with Koreans in college and high school. Individual success in their community was viewed as collective success. This sort of life view led to hilarity often. I heard this type of rationalization multiple times, a variant being, "I got a 2 in organic chem, but John Park from my church got a 9." One wonders if this sort of behavior and thinking is an outgrowth of the Korean church, which has a vastly different set of values from the traditional Anglo-Saxon Calvinist institution.

Bottom line is, fucking Koreans again fucking it up for all other Asians. Hey LT, tell all your Korean friends to read this entry.

Fuck art, let's dance ...

Pieces of art I got in the mail today. Neil Blender originals.

Initial D

I just saw Initial D on DVD last night. It was SHIT. Oh my God, it sucked so bad. I fast forwarded through much of the film. It was total shit.

On the DVD, there was an ad for "Chiseen." Apparently a Jackass version for HK. Have any of you seen it? Is it funny? Or just retarded?

Someone kill the word "Chinglish"

Read this article on a Chinglish art exhibit.

Is it appropriate that these people glorify the bastardization of their official language? It's bad enough that kids here speak like they've snorted too many pixie sticks grown on a China farm. Now, you might ask what is my right to complain about a language that I myself speak like a retard? It's the same as how a Christian can tell you evolution is wrong.

When you're watching mainstream Chinese media, you'll notice them randomly insert english words into perfectly inane dialog as if to increase their buzzword bingo points. Well, more like chinglish points. It's as if they want to achieve breakthroughs on multiple cultural fronts for purposes of a chinese/english synergistic fusion in order to solidify a holistic, paradigm shifting, framework if only to proclaim themselves as proactively seeking a sustainable solution...Chinese 2.0!!!

But anyways, when a CBC or ABC inserts english words into his sentences, it's because we don't know the chinese word. This isn't an art form, it's a lack of language skills on our part. So if a HK person uses an english word for lack of a better chinese word, AND they're from HK, I can only assume they're retarded. You don't see me using french in place of english. It just shows I have no language etiquette.

Tales from the Library

I think the dominant gene of curmudgeon-ness that runs in our family has finally blossomed in me. I've been in the law library studying for exams since last week and nothing enrages me more than undergrads in the law library. They need to get the hell out of the graduate students' libraries; it's exam time and we need a quiet place to study and there are a limited number of tables and chairs. The corollary should be that students that actually belong to the faculty should have priority.

Furthermore, why are there undergrads in the law library to begin with? Are they vying for bragging rights? "Oh my gosh, I'm so studious that I study with the law students." And what kind of losers out there would actually be impressed by that? Or is it simply the case that these jailbaits are hoping desperately to land a law student so that they can become tacky trophy wives? I have to say, if that is the case, they need to put a little more thought into their wardrobe. Their "sexily tousled" hairdos and "seductive and come-hither" make-up make them like eastern European streetwalkers.

Empty Fridge

Oh crap. I just realized that I HAVE to go buy groceries after I leave the library tonight. I haven't gone yet for this week and I don't think I have enough in my fridge to last me till Monday since stores are closed Easter Sunday. I think even I have my limits on how many times I can handle eating a ghetto meal of peanut butter and brown rice.

Oh, don't give me that look. Like you're at all surprised that I eat peanut butter and brown rice together.

This Bud's for You

I feel as though I've let the family name down. ADR Prof took the class out for a round of drinks and after one pint I am at home, tipsily sitting in front of my computer and carefully pecking out this post with great focus and concentration. I was thisclose to asking out this guy in my class before I realized that it was the alcohol making him look good.

A season in hell ...

Another pic from our kid brother. The entrance to the forest in front of our parent's house has never looked so evil.

My kid brother the photographer.

Edmonton at dusk.

UFO in my bedroom.

The electrician came this morning to install our Le Klint light fixture. We hung the light in the corner of our bedroom. In the background you can see that spring has arrived. The marine layer comes fast and thick.

Ding Dong - Sounds from my b-school journey

Goddamn. Over the last 2 months, I've read 6 of these damn sentences...

"Inclusive of your admission interview, your application received the careful consideration of our Admissions Committee. Unfortunately, we are unable to offer you admission to the Class of 2009."

WTF!?!? Here are the dings in order of appearance, Dartmouth, NYU, UMich, Columbia, Cornell and Chicago. HOLY SHIT!!

Now I have to wait another month for Duke and Yale.

I'm depressed.

Guns and Fun - From my cold dead hands...

Just got back from weekend in Las Vegas.

Mega fun at this place - http://www.lasvegasgunrange.net/

Shot an M16, Israeli Uzi, Swedish K, MP-5K and an USP.45.

Ridiculous.

I'm now a certified gun-toting Republican.

Who wants to see photos of my trip to the Middle East?

I'm gonna make my pics public for about a week and then take they private.

http://picasaweb.google.com/jlocanada

Shut up Tarantino

I'm assuming most of you saw Casino Royale and agree it's a very entertaining movie. I haven't had that much fun at a movie for a while.

But check out what Tarantino had to say about it: article

Someone needs to give him a shot of STFU. That's awesome how filming the movie like how the book was written is his original idea. Sorta like how the pretentious Reservoir Dogs and Kill Bill are original genres he invented because he's much more cinematically enlightened than the rest of us? Someone get that douchebag back in a Blockbuster store because that's where he belongs.

Vegetarian Birthday

Why is no one else posting on the blog? Don't make me come over there. Anyway, happy birthday to the vegetarian running machine that is CB. Go eat some vegan birthday cake!

Seriously, What's Wrong with People?

Who would eat a hamburger that uses Krispy Kreme donuts as its buns??? I can get behind the idea of something like a bread pudding that uses donuts, but hamburgers?

Note: All my recent food posts are because I'm on a diet and I've reached the point where I'm obsessed with food.

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Public Pet Peeves

I noticed there are a lot of things that set me off in the morning. While taking the subway to work, i hate people that:

1) Talk non-stop on their phone; it's 8 o'fucking'clock, how much could you possibly have to talk about?
2) Make out with their bf/gf. Again it' 8AM in the morning, you're both wearing your office attire, is there a need for PDA? Whatever you did last night, we don't want any hint whatsoever. This isn't junior high anymore you fucktards, it's not cool to show everyone you have a bf/gf.
3) People that think I'd love to share their newspapers with them. Yeah, I love reading about the latest gossip about karaoke singers first thing in the morning because your arm span violates my personal bubble.

I'd love to show any one of these people what I have in my pocket for them.

When I get to the office, there's a moment of dread before i open the door to my floor. Remember in American Psycho, Patrick Batman is like "relief washes over me in an awesome wave"? Well, it's the opposite for me. The expectation of the IT smell is hitting me in a horrifying wave of pestilence.

What about you guys?

So Cute!

Holy crap! When I get my own place I'm buying these! Except I'd do something psychotic like have a bowlful of these heads sitting out on my coffee table.

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Acid Burn

So my new diet consists of eating more veggies either raw, grilled or steamed and only using vinegar, lemon juice or mustards as condiments. Much like J, I have a dislike for veggies and the only way I'm getting through this is by liberally dousing my veggies in balsamic vinegar. Actually it's not "dousing" so much as it's "making balsamic vingegar soup with veggies floating around in it". I'm wondering if at my next check-up my doctor will think I'm bulimic.

Deathtrap

Holy crap! We had freezing rain last night and everything in K-Hole is right now either a giant sheet of ice or a giant slush puddle. Since there' s a career fair today, I'm wearing my fancy boots that only have aesthetic value and I nearly killed myself just walking down my front steps. I managed to pitifully walk one block before finding a cab. My actual thought process while walking was: "I am going to die walking to civil procedure class, that's not fair! At least I have clean underwear on. Oh, praise, Jebus! A cab!"

Pencil, oh pencil ...

I have been using a Dixon Ticonderoga H pencil this week for working out shitty filter equations. Typically, I use a keyboard for the majority of the time at work. This week I noticed the skin on my right thumb is flaking off. Using the pencil has soaked up all the moisture in the areas of my hand that contact the pencil. Does this happen to anyone else? The flaking is so bad that when I got lemon juice on my thumb it hurt like getting my gonads stomped. Well maybe not that bad, but you get the idea.

It Smells Like a Turd Covered in Burnt Hair

So I was cleaning out CB's and CwK's fridge this morning and CB and I came across this yogurt that had been in there since March of last year. I nearly freaked out when I saw what was in the container. It was this weird, lumpy grey mass that just smelt "like a used diaper... filled with... Indian food."

Home Depot

Yo, a big shout-out of happy birthday to that door stop from Home Depot, Heidi! What what, can i get a what what.

Yes, too much drinking with the uk boys and girls.

It's Going to Be a Long Semester: Part Deux

The past few weeks of school have been so long and horrible that I sometimes just expect to find in my mailbox a letter that reads along the lines of:

Dear Heidi,

Fuck you.

Kisses,
The Universe

Update: Today was another harrowing day. I think the letter will now probably read as:

FUCK YOU. SUCK ON IT.
[obscene drawing]

A Little Unknown Fact

I'm going to San Diego to visit CB and CwK next week for my Reading Week. I'm quite excited to work on my tan and hasten my chances of getting skin cancer. But until I'm actually there I thought I'd share this not commonly known fact about San Diego: "It was discovered by the Germans in 1904, they named it San Diego, which of course in German means a whale's vagina."

Chariots , full of nerds, of Fire

I really need to know: Do people run around in your office?

I seriously have no idea why the nerds in my office run around when the distance is only like 5-10 meters at the most. Are they like trying to fit in some exercise at the office or something? Are they in that big of a hurry that they can't waste the 5 extra seconds if they were walking instead?

And if they insist on running, why do they run like that? Are the flailing arms really necessary?

Maybe they really do see Jimbo and Neslon running after them, if only they knew who they were. Cultureless bastards.

What the hell?

What the hell has happened to Edmonton?

Namely, when did the standard of journalistic writing go to the shits?

You Know You're a Poor Student When...

...you consider it a splurge to turn the thermostat up by 5 degrees celsius during a snowy Canadian winter.

This is What I Dream About

LT's drawing inspired me to unleash my inner artiste.

Blog migration

Ok, I just migrated the blog over to Google because I imagine sooner or later I'd be forced to anyways. And also to ignore their stupid reminders when logging on.














For some reason, I don't see most of you listed as contributors but you are still on the list when I view the admin pages. Don't know what's going on, but fuck it, hopefully it'll fix itself.

music vid of the year goes to ooioo umo

Go here to watch it. Pretty batty weird.

Children of Crap

I just watched Children of Men and I have to say it's easily one of the worst films I've watched this year. And considering I watched Material Girls that says a lot. During the movie I actually felt enraged and wanted to walk out because of the camera work. From start to finish the camera never stopped shaking once and I got a headache at the 10-minute mark and felt like walking out at the 30-minute mark.

That movie stole two hours of my life!

Fucking Prayers!

Going to see my new favorite San Diego band this weekend. The Prayers is the sound of NOW. I am just happy that the new scene in SD does not include the new faux cool kids. The internerd made it easier for all the kooks to come find our scene. Fucking Champs on Friday. This weekend is going to rule so hard. My bronchitis is going away, thus I can drink again.

Veggie-Tales

In an effort to eat more healthy food I bought a tomato for the first time in my life the other day.
Yes, I'm aware that it's a fruit.

Lassie come home.

I am still sick in bed. It is 11:30 am and I am bed ridden. The bedroom smells of death. I went to work yesterday thinking I was better, I may have infected the office instead. I am bored and there is no food in the house. Just me and the dog at home. It is cloudy and cold outside my bedroom window.

The Miracle Worker

Holy crap, I think CB cured me of my habit of non-stop eating of junk food. I don't have the urge to eat cookies for dinner anymore. Praise Jebus!