Dining alone can be a fab experience

Today was lazy. Meandering around with my little pal today I hit the following points of interest - Chateau Harder (CR's abode), coffee with CR, the hospital and lunch with the wife, hanging out with my little pal at home listening to unreleased Velvet Underground thanks to CR.

At coffee an elderly lady stared intently at my little pal and proclaimed, "He is a master, I can tell. I can feel strong positive vibrations coming from him." She waved her hand around his stomach like he was a crystal ball. She asked for my little pal's name. She commented, "Sebastian is a strong name ... of course, what else would it be for a master." This is the second time an older white lady has made these types of pronouncements about my little pal. Do they know something I do not?

Over coffee, CR and I discussed various models of female worth. This is entirely irrelevant to me as I am happily married. His models were grounded in age specific cost-benefit analyses. My model consisted of a hole in the ground or a tree.

In the evening, the two of us (little pal and I) went to a local eatery in Carmel Valley. It is really nothing special, a family restaurant in a suburban strip mall setting.While waiting for a seat at the bar, I spotted the Realness of Carmel Valley. Imagine a 60 year old Asian man with a dense white shock of hip hair, the tightest ladies sloping v-neck shirt, the tightest pants known to mankind and a teddy bear. He sat alone at a table enjoying (to the n-th degree as n goes to infinity) his meal. Before each bite, he relinquished the morsel to his dining companion - the teddy bear. He was blissfully unaware of the stares he garnered

He shared a strong esemblance - facial, hair and body type wise - to CR's friend EA, if EA was a sixty year old flaming Asian male. He was the queen of Carmel Valley and for once I would not have minded being a royal subject. He was having the most fun in all of SD at that exact moment. Watching him made me re-consider the idea that dining alone in a bland suburban eatery could be a "fabuloso" experience (on the order of imbibing large quantities of high grade drugs). After paying his bill, he danced his way out the door. At birth, he likely danced his way right out the womb.

Who is this gentleman??? I need to know.

Assholes from the desert

A closer analysis of Spring in San Diego reveals a transient abundance of Zonies. For those of you not in the know, "Zonie" as defined in the Urban Dictionary refers to -

Short of [sic] Arizonian, these people invade local beach towns in California during the summer causing traffic jams, and straight up annoying the population of the local town [sic].

i.e.,
Person #1: Damn zonies fucking invade San Diego every summer!
Person #2: Fuck i [sic] know! They need to get their own damn town!

*Note the gratuitous usage of the F word and syntactical violations, these are common in the English language as spoken with the San Diego vernacular.

This morning, my little pal and I almost died from one of these douchebags. Driving down the freeway I spied a lifted truck, with half-a-dozen unsecured long boards in the flatbed, merging onto the freeway. Because the boards were not strapped down, there was a high probability of them becoming hazardous to my little pal and I's health. As a responsible parent, I changed lanes from the slow lane to the adjacent one to avoid this truck. The truck merged onto the freeway 15 mph faster than is safe and proceeded to change another lane (the lane I was in) without shoulder checking or signaling. The boards jostled about and appeared about to become airborne. I quickly swerved out of my lane. Luckily there was no other cars in the adjacent lane, otherwise you would be reading about my little pal and I in the newspaper. I then noticed the truck had Arizona plates. I hope the people in that truck get stabbed in PB/OB/MB tonight (p>0.65).

Talking to CR after the incident, we hypothesized they likely surfed Scripps and were on their way back to their MB boardwalk house rental. So predictable ....

Absolute Beginners

Summer is peaking her head at Chez Crewtonz, I missed her terribly this winter. Prior to her visit, Spring made a brief stop-over. With the company of my little pal, warm evening breezes and leafy green mysteries as seen through my bedroom window, I am re-reading one of my favourite novels - Absolute Beginners by Colin MacInnes. As a metaphor, my little pal is an absolute beginner - the emergent self in a new soul.

In other news, the renovations are coming to an end. The bookshelf was completed, the 3Form panels have been installed. The layout and color scheme came about during a late night conversation in Wapping with my English cousin. She came up with the brilliant idea of the color singleton! If you catch me in a whimsical mood (i.e., drunk), I'll explain the post post-modern idea behind the design scheme that links Francis Bacon, Peter Fowler and color-opponent processing in extrastriate visual cortex. The 3Form bathroom panels were installed today as well, I cannot wait to use the commode. I suppose the experience will be similar to defecating within a green jello shot.


Better photos to come. I need to ply CR with Boddingtons to entice him to take pictures. CR is my SD consultant for all things photography. There are a lot of phonies around, but CR is the realness.

Shit talking.

Of note recently, I have been able to spend time with old acquaintances with and without my little pal. I am sure he is absorbing all the verbiage like a linguistic sponge. 

Tonight over quite an enjoyable dinner at the Kensington, an individual in the dinner party ejaculated into the conversation the following inquiry, "Does he rape you during sex?" The other guest is of Chinese descent and is seeing a Japanese gentleman. 

Another outing included said dining partner and one of my science colleagues. My colleague, who is the smartest scientist I am quite fortunate to have as a friend, made this astute observation, "If you are a giving a blow job to a dude, you are gay..  No questions about it." Imagine this statement coming from a  mind whose IQ exceeds 200 easily .

I mentioned to the rape comment colleague the other day, "I distinctly remember forgetting that piece of information."