Iron Chef: Part II

Thursday's dinner: Eggplant with basil; snow peas and fake-meat; and salt and pepper shrimp.

I made the rice; I washed it and put it in the rice cooker and everything! God, I really hope I end up marrying a chef. If not, I'll be eating sandwiches everyday for the rest of my life.

Iron Chef

I'm in San Diego for my winter break right now with xCharlesBronsonx and Chixwknives. So far it's been Good Times.

CB is pretty handy in the kitchen and his meals are pretty yummy. For the rest of my time here I'm going to blog about the meals he's prepared.

• Monday: Blended roasted red pepper sauce with seafood over linguine
• Tuesday: Portobello mushrooms stuffed with cilantro, pine nuts, seafood and breadcrumbs

I propose that the next time CB, LT, J and myself are together we have a cook-off. Okay, CB, LT and J can cook off, I'll just wash the dishes because that's just how my OCD flies.

Life in the Student Ghetto Part II

It's exam time again and for the past few weeks I've been too lazy/tired to cook real food. Wait, that's a lie. I'm too lazy/tired all the time to cook real food, but during exam time I have an excuse for it.

My diet thus far has consisted of Sweet and Salty Almond Granola Bars, Spicy Peanut Satay flavoured tuna and the occasional order of poutine. If you guys ever come across the tuna in the grocery store I highly recommend it. Yeah, it kind of looks like a tin of cat food, but it's extremely delicious.

And the answer to your question is "No, I'm not turning into a fat-ass while I'm in school and eating nothing but crap. I joined the gym and go to step class regularly."

Don Diva Mag

Check this out - http://www.dondivamag.com/

I especially like the link to the "Sticky Page" near the bottom of their homepage.

Apple Commercial Geek

Check this out. Looks funny. I'm gonna buy it.

http://areasofmyexpertise.com/

BAT SHIT CRAZY!

Like I have always said, peeps in Hong Kong are motherfucking crazy. How evil do you have to be to do this kind of shit. Judge needs to put her and her own son away for life. You don't want those crazy genes out there. I would at least petition to have her ovaries removed. Crazy bitch.

I Just Came Up with This Year's X-Mas Card for Our Parents

Update: Little Thingies requested that I repost and give J a haircut. Who knew he cared so much about J's hair?

Countdown to Exams

Four 100%-weighted exams. Shit.

Things overheard ...

Sunday morning 7 a.m. while changing into my wetsuit at Pipes I heard this yelling, "DON'T MAKE ME! MAKE YOU! LOOK LIKE A PUSSY IN FRONT OF YOUR KIDS!!!" The "me" and "you" was emphasized and elongated for full dramatic effect.

I turned to peek who said that and it was two surfer Spicoli types. Classic So Cal.

If you don't know who Spicoli is, I feel sorry for you man.

Life in the Student Ghetto

My only decoration is my Hello Kitty calendar.

As an added bonus, here's a picture of my empty fridge. I need to buy groceries.

Deep Throat

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

My God...

Ladies and Gentleman, I present to you...Tommy Lee Jones as seen by the Japanese.

Silly pig, doritos are for me

Seriously, what is up with Stinkie? I lent a dvd to one of my other colleagues and he brought it back yesterday. Stinkie went up to him, talked about the movie for a bit, and just took it. No, he didn't bother asking me if he could borrow it, he just took it. I turned around and asked him "you taking that home?"

And he single-handedly ate a tube of special Pringles from our friday meeting snack stash. Another colleague went to england and brought that back, they were actually quite good. But this sucker just finished off the whole thing himself. The kicker is that he never donates money to the snack fund, even i do for shit's sake. This is his usual practice: take food from the stash, take my doritos with his grubby hands, or waits until someone is on leave before going to their desk and taking their food. And every once in a while, someone will ask "where the hell did all the snacks go? Are the janitors stealing our food???"

This type of behavior just blows my mind. And his shirt/pants? Still the same ones; 90 days and counting since the last time he probably washed them.

Straight out of Canton.

Who are these guys -Down Lo Mein, HK Fever, Hunan Bomb? The beats and rhymes are dope.
Do the NY peeps on here (i.e., Shorter_Name) know them? Are they friends with Live from NY? I need to know. I usually dislike Asian ethnic humor (i.e., that space monster Margarent Cho, that one guy from Mad TV), but this is quite funny. HK Fever's accent is so on the money, it sounds like Bruce Lee from Enter the Dragon.

BANANAS

Have you peeps seen this? This is such awesomeness. No more squashed bananas for lunch. However, it does sort of look obscene.

Bitches!

What's going on here bitches? I see this site has reached its first anniversary.

So what's new bitches?!!

Muslim Veils

If these jack asses cannot adapt to their guest countries' norms and traditions, maybe they should go back home. No one is forcing them to stay in Australia or England for that matter. I think the underlying message he is really saying is that Muslim men are savages and cannot keep their genitals in check.

While I am on my soap box, why did Madonna not just give the father money to raise the child. I do not see Bono, Bill and Melinda Gates, Oprah adopting children. The English should boot her out of their country. Send her back to Detroit with her fake ass English accent.

I just opened Pandora's box

So in my department, we have a stash of junk food and drinks for our Friday meetings (casual affairs where we discuss things). The food is bought with money donated by some of us, but of course not everyone contributes to the fund.

Stinky, who happens to sit beside the stash, is always going to crazy town on that shit. His contributions to the fund are obvious as I wouldn't write this entry if otherwise. Every so often, someone will make the comment "what the hell happened to all the food? Is someone stealing it??" Think about the trouble of going to buy this shit during lunch time and you can imagine my annoyance.

I'm always hungry in the office, so i bought bags of doritos. I made the mistake of sharing them one day. Some acted like the Flanders' kids on pixie sticks for the very first time; they were like WOW. Stinky just came back for more and more like he does whenever i have candy or whatever. And the thought of his grubby hands in there...yech. Given his history, I don't think i can ever eat doritos in peace.

I WANT DORITOS IN THE OFFICE BUT I CAN'T!!!! YOU SEE WHAT I HAVE TO PUT UP WITH HERE??? AARGGGGH WHY IS MY LIFE SO HARD??? !@#$#%

Can I say how awesome this is ...

Comments please.

"Everyone in this Room is Now Dumber for Having Listened to It"

When Little Thingies said that he'd just ordered three of Adam Sandler's movies on Amazon, I immediately thought of the above quote and laughed until I fell out of my chair. Then when I picked myself off of the floor I remembered this Smoking Gun article that was passed around a while ago and fell out of my chair laughing again.

My goal in life after I get out of law school is to use the same quote in a similar context somehow and somewhere.

Ghost busting in the 858

We went to Whaley House this weekend in Old Town. The house is said to be the most haunted house in North America. I started the evening off with two gin and tonics at home. This was followed by a double shot margarita. We were now ready. We saw NOTHING!!! We each payed $10 to go in. Such a let down. Afterwards we drank some more next door. BAH!

It's Miller Time!!! Or Milwaukee's Best time..

It's the start of Mid-Autumn Festival here and we just had our little office party. I joked to the secretary we should get beer...and she took me seriously like I hoped. Anyways, I'm drinking at the office right now and it's giving me a different perspective on life...like what the hell am I doing here when I should be at a real bar??

No need for terrorists!

Let me give you an idea of the kind of people I'm dealing with in HK. So i have nice hand towels in the washroom. Like the expensive kind that feel nice on your skin. I placed it in a towel bowl (actually, a nice dinner bowl) so it would make the washroom attractive. Some people came in to work on the washroom yesterday. I assume it went something like this:

"We need something to wipe this shit up...oh what's this? Perfect!"

When dad came to check on them, they were like wiping the floor with my towel although there were raggedy cleaning towels in plain site.

Oh yeah, you know how AC units have an little trapper to collect exhaust water and send it down a tube? The people that installed it, they figured if they use tape to attach the trapper, it would be good enough. Sure enough, the trap just fell off, just hanging by a little piece of tape. So i didn't even realize my AC unit was pouring water down onto the apartment front door below until i was wondering what all that splashing sound was.

Dad put it best. If these were the types of people that built airplanes, how safe would you feel?

UPDATE: So I was right. At first it was just too impossibly stupid to be true. When i told my dad, he didn't believe me people could be so retarded. Not only did the AC technician improperly install the water trap, he improperly installed the WHOLE FUCKING THING. When i looked at the AC, it looked like it was being held up by scrap, rotting, wooden pegs. But i thought it was just my tired eyes seeing things. I also noticed how the AC was awkwardly pointing upwards; I thought maybe all AC units do that now for more efficient cooling of the room. But another technician came in today and said "yup, that's fucked up, those wooden legs aren't even the right height." He had to pull the whole thing out and properly reinstall it.

So, if a strong typhoon had hit HK, it could've probably blew the AC off its legs where the shock would've probably caused it to bounce around before falling 5 floors down. But I guess people throwing boiling soy sauce and other random shit out the window wouldn't be surprised by a falling AC unit.

So the lesson you should learn here is that if you ever have to do renovations in HK, make sure you're there to supervise it. If possible, you should have a gun pointed at their heads while they do so. Otherwise they'll just F you in the A.

Indian Summer

Summer is still here. Nothing to report on this front. Work, surf, eat, sleep. Life is such. Ordered a new surfboard for the winter. Should come in 7 weeks.

Going to go see the Brian Jonestown Massacre tonight. The Tyde are opening. Should be good.

Lord of the Flies

Nothing really new to report on my end, except that I still think my ex is a selfish asshole and that I have fruit flies in my apartment.

I think the fruit flies came about when I opened up a cantelope a few weeks and failed to dispose of the rinds and guts right away. A can of Raid and a few sheets of flypaper later, I think I've taken care of most of the bugs. But now I'm scared to leave organic garbage out and the garbage disposal area in my building is seriously sketchy and has an even worse problem with flies. So I've settled for putting all my organic waste in a baggie in my freezer and tossing it out on garbage day. So if you ever come over to my place, the ice cream is next to the bag of frozen banana peels and egg shells. Yes, I'm aware of how disgusting that is.

Invasion...

Ok, since activity is dying down on both blogs, I'm recommending to start shit with the other blog: Drunken Amigos.

Same rules apply, no usage of real names. Feel free to point out stupidity when you spot it.

More Tales from HeidiLand

After this summer I don't think I'm going to live with roommates ever again; I end up feeling aggravated and pissed after the whole experience. But the thing is, after having issues with two of my Kingston roommates and now my Toronto roommates, I'm not sure if I have shitty luck or if I'm just a be-yotch.

My Toronto roommates are friends that I knew from before, one guy and girl who are dating each other. I'm not sure but I think I offended them off at some point because they usually act like I just pissed in their Corn Flakes whenever I try to engage them in conversation. They usually don't communicate directly with me, it's just indirect conversations laced with passive-aggression.

Highlights of my living experience with them include:

• I was tanning in the backyard and when I came back into the house the guy had left a note asking me to clean the bathrooms. I have no problem doing my share of the housework but what's with the note? After knowing each other for 1 1/2 years are we not close enough for you to make the effort of opening the screen door and walking 10 steps in order to have a direct conversation?
• One night I was watching tv in the living room, which is directly beside the front door, and they both left to spend the night at their respective family homes. The only reason I knew neither would be coming home that night was because I overheard their conversation earlier. The living room is only three feet away from the front door. They didn't call out goodbye as they left the house either.
• For a goodbye party I arranged a night out with some friends and had mentioned it earlier to them. A few days before I asked the girl if she and the guy were planning on coming. She turned around to the guy, who was beside her, and asked "what time are we leaving for the cottage?" The guy responded "I want to leave in the afternoon." And then the girl turned back to me and just looked at me without saying anything.
  

Why do I feel like I'm going to turn into that crazy cat-lady from The Simpsons?

I love the smell of napalm in the morning ...

It had been a weird year and it is not even over yet.

For a while I was 33 years old, unemployed and living in my parent's basement. I can blame my reversal of fortunes squarely upon Agent Quach of DHS. The v.c. motherfucker denied me entry into the U.S. Homeboy could barely speak english. I should of asked him how it feels to work for the government that napalmed his entire family. Because of midget man, we had to cancel our reception. On the flip side, I still got to go to Europe.

Every night I pray that Agent Quach catches HIV or SARS.

Just another one of those WTF just happened???

Ok, you guys help me intepret what happened to me yesterday.

I just finished buying groceries from the store down the street from home. I'm wearing shorts, running shoes, have a backpack on, and carrying stuff on both arms. So here i am walking back home; as i reach home, i noticed a kid ahead of me look me straight in the eye with a wierd smirk on his face. He couldnt' have been older than 20. Of course i don't think anything of it.

As i walk halfway up the stairs, suddenly he comes up and is like (in chinese), "excuse me sir, how big are your feet?" I'm like "huh??? uhh....size 9." He then proceeds to grab my ankle, lift my leg off the ground, and tries taking my left shoe off. He's like "just wanna check." I'm like WTF!?!? and slam my foot down. He then scurries off like a gawdamn rat.

So what was it?

1. He was really trying to steal my shoe (although a really bad attempt)
2. He was hoping i'd drop my groceries by making me run after him with one shoe on...where he would then proceed to steal my groceries?
3. As i ran after him, maybe someone was waiting around the corner to clock me? And then they could steal all my stuff?
4. He really did wanna know my shoe size because my shoes look so good on me? (just my old NB runners)
   

It could've been possible he followed me home because while I take one path home, he could've ran the other path so that he'd meet me head-on.

At any rate, while he was crouching down trying to take my shoe off, i should've said "hail to the king baby" and then kick him down the stairs.

Discuss.

This goes out to my balls

Awesome, the secretary finally came through for me and allowed me to take a chair meant for managers. It's not that i got promoted to manager (although i should have their gawdamn jobs...all of them combined). The cheap office chair i was using was so bad that it got to the point where i had nerve pains in my crotch where it would proceed to blaze a path down my left leg, do a sharp asian-lady-driver 180 degree turn up the same leg, back across my crotch, and into my lower back where the pains would perform River Dance and set another yet another record for the most taps in a 1 minute span.

With this new chair, the turn-around is not so much a sharp 180 turn, but more of a gentle uturn performed by an experienced driver. The move on my back is not so much a Michael Flatley, but a light-hearted jig.

What company would knowingly provide chairs that do this? oh i know!

It's Too Quiet in Here

Since there's been no activity in here for so long I'm just going to blog about something random. Look what I made Friday night! It's made up of concentric circles of white chocolate cheesecake and milk chocolate cheesecake.

And if you're thinking in your head "This is what you do on Friday nights? Instead of going out and socializing?" My answer is "No. I went out Saturday night so I took it easy on Friday. Jackass."

Party in Two Months

Who's going to San Diego in August? There's no excuse not to go. This is the perfect opportunity for all of to get together and get drunk and throw XCharlesBronsonX into the ocean.

Meanwhile, I'm sick of hockey and soocer. I wish there was a dodgeball tournement on tv instead.

Chuck!!

Got a new suit! Just in time for the wedding banquet although I probably won't be needing it for the damn zoo.

And Chuck F'ing Norris!

Wedding in LA

Went to Martin of Giant Robot magazine fame wedding yesterday. Pretty good times. They had ice cream for us during the ceremony. The Ray Barbee band played background music for the ceremony. Daniel Wu was there with his partner. He looks much shorter in real life. He chain smoked the entire time. Hung out at Bill the Bear's house after the ceremony and met a singer from some band. She cursed like a sailor. I cannot believe she used to be an english teacher. Her vocabulary consisted of the words: Fuck!; Man!; Dude!

At the reception they had 2 punk bands play. I have never seen 300 old chinese people move their asses so fast. The first band emptied out the room like a bad fart.

The Boredom at Work is Killing My Soul

So I started my summer job this week and so far it's been a little underwhelming. Yesterday I literally opened a file and spread it out across my desk and opened a spreadsheet on my computer and then proceeded to daydream for the next 7.5 hours because I had nothing to do. Well, I guess to be fair, I did do some work. I updated my resume.

Things are this slow at the office because my supervisor is busy with his own projects and while he did assign me a project it's not going anywhere because he has to get back to me on something. So until I hear back from him I'm free to update resumes for people.

I was doin this shit when you was shittin Pampers

I just wanted to see that phrase on the internet yo!

This is what happens when you steal ....

Read this webpage, this poor guy had his Sidekick stolen. Very entertaining.

Assholes

What is up with the following assholes? They are all Canadian citizens, and yet they want destroy the country that granted them citizenship. These assholes should be grateful that Canada is what it is. They should be shipped back to some god forsaken middle eastern shithole to learn what hard times really are. Because of the wealth of the nation, the lesiure time granted to these dickheads results in this sort of extra curricular activity. Back in the old country they would be dodging IED's, death squads, building mud huts etc ... Some people just cannot handle leisure time (see Bertrand Russell for a cogent discussion of "leisure"). At the same time, a majority of the blame also falls upon the parents. Certain people should be sterilized, better yet, send them to permanent re-education camps.

P.S. The Great Decider should note that there have been less deaths from same sex marriages than his righteous foreign policy.

Fahim Ahmad, 21, of Robinstone Drive, Toronto Zakaria Amara, 20, of Periwinkle Crescent, Mississauga Asad Ansari, 21, of Rosehurst Drive, Mississauga Shareef Abdelhaleen, 30, of Lowville Heights, Mississauga Qayyum Abdul Jamal, 43, of Montevideo Road, Mississauga Mohammed Dirie, 22, Kingston Yasim Abdi Mohamed, 24, Kingston Jahmaal James, 23, of Trudelle Street, Toronto Amin Mohamed Durrani, 19, of Stonehill Court, Toronto Steven Vikash Chand alias Abdul Shakur, 25, of Treverton Drive, Toronto Ahmad Mustafa Ghany, 21, of Robin Drive, Mississauga Saad Khalid, 19, of Eclipse Avenue, Mississauga

Sparkling colonic tonic!

So the better half (or should I say the shittier half in about 20 minutes, har har har) just ingested some sparkling lemon lime laxative. This is to prepare her for her procedure tomorrow at the clinic. I am fascinated by this entire procedure. She is now taking additional tablets for a more explosive bowel movements. This will be followed by an self applied enema. I figure I have to leave the house in about 30 minutes to avoid the shittiness to come. The farts have already begun. Argghhh......

The mean streets of HK

Ok, i think we have a contender for a proper follow-up to the crazy lady video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RSHziqJWYcM

Good opportunity for anyone wishing to brush up on their chinese.

The Hyundai of Martial Arts

I just came across this article:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/5020804.stm

I can't decide which is stranger- Iraqi people practicing TKD, or that their olympic TDK team surrender and get taken hostage. Of course, if this was a troll blog, someone would go on to say something like "for a second there, i thought you were talking about the French."

But to be fair, I do realize the bad guys had guns and would've gotten their asses kicked without them. What is this world coming to? There's no more honor in hand-to-hand combat.

Aug 26th.

Design by our RISD graduate cousin. Check it out yo! I have no idea how the colors got inverted, but it looks even doper.

Update On My Broken Body

PapaHeidi finally talked me into seeing a doctor today. So my vacation is officially complete now that I've visited the hospital and came away with four different types of meds and an anti-inflammatory shot.

Wait, I still haven't taken my picture with Mickey yet. Okay, on Sunday, after Disneyland, my vacation will be officially complete.

Oh yeah, the diagnosis was a throat infection.

I Broke My Body

Speaking of immune systems, mine has completely left me. One week in HK's smog and my body has pitifully given up. My lungs feel like they're on fire everytime I breathe. And they're so weak that I'm afriad that if I cough too hard, they'll explode.

If it were possible I'd cut open my chest, remove my lungs, soak them in disinfectant and give them a good scrubbing and massage before returning them to my chest.

I can't believe I'm actually saying this, but I miss K-Hole. I'm too used to the air there now; a lot less people drive and indoor smoking has been banned so it's much cleaner.

ZOO TIME!!! Get down on the way up!

So I am having a party at the zoo. It will be so much fun that people will lose their minds. Open bar!!!!! Anyways, I am currently pissed at my brothers' employer (who shall remain nameless). All I have to say is that they should let them break their vacation up. It is the least they can do for them. For fuck's sake, they have to sit in offices with people reeking like chinese sausage. Fucking low-lifes. FUCK THE MAN!!!!!!!!

And don't forget, this what you get for fucking with primates. FUCKING HIV. GO VEGETARIAN!!!!! People are such barbarians in Africa. How do you eat bush meat? You might as well be a cannibal and eat your own kin. 99.7% shared genetics is no fluke.

Wooah woh oh those summer nights..

Jesus H Christ, it's summer season again and someone in my office really reeks. It's that sickly Chinese BO/MSG/mothball smell that makes me wanna throw up. For some reason it's blowing my way today and it's making me sick. I have some clues as to who it is...basically the whole department.

If my olfactory nerves were my eyes, i'd ask someone to stab them to save me from such a horrible vision.

the coolest video of all time

Check this! This is the greatest video of all time!

This is the song that is going through your head when you are leaving someone's house at 6 in the morning! What an amazing fucking feeling!!!

Coolest man on this planet ...

Watch this video of Richard Ashcroft on Regis and Kathy Lee. Watch the interview at the end. This video shows why he is quite possibly the coolest person ever. He gives off the vibe of undeniable cool.

Cooking Catastrophe

So I whipped up a batch of ill Indo curry tonight. The recipe from Grandma K requires a red chili puree. I mashed some up some fierce red chilis in the blender. Apparently the gaseous compounds released from the puree'ing ended up in my nose. My nose started burning up and I jumped in the shower. What I really wanted was to pour milk on my head. The shower did not help so I ended up just waiting it out - i.e., the pain receptors got so blown out that they ceased to register/sense/transmit any sort of noxious stimulation. The curry was pretty ill. Now the tissue under my finger nails are hurting. I wish I had some ice cream to stick my fingers in.

I've Lost My Blog!

The Heidi Report ran away. I don't know where it is or how to fix the problen. Blogger's help section is absolutely useless. Arg.

Anyway, this Sunday is Mother's Day. Be sure to call your moms and grandmas!

Silent Hill...

So i finally got to watch this movie since 3 years they announced they were making it. First of, the acting was horrendous. I think the movie would've been better if the main characters just ran around with nothing to say. Other than that, the transition scenes from normal world to hell were really well done. If you've played the game, you know what i'm talking about. These scenes were loud and made the movie a true Silent Hill experience. The plot loosely follows the first game. If you never played it, then there are some gaps that won't make any sense in the movie.

But the star of the movie...Pyramid Head....like anyone would expect. The level of brutality went from 5 to like 11 in any of the scenes he was in. Crazy, I never saw those parts coming.

The characters were annoying but the visuals alone make the movie worth watching. If you liked the games, you'll like the movie. Otherwise you'll probably hate it.

God high-fives Jesus every time a right-wing Christian wingnut is infected with HIV.

MONCHICHI!!!

This one is for Little Thingies because he is such a cry baby.

Look What I Found in the Basement!

Monchichi!
(Try to figure out which doll matches up to xcharlesbronsonx, little thingies, J and myself)

MONCHICHI!

Dude Looks Like a....Monchichi Doll?

I'm right now in Edmonton and saw J whom I haven't seen for about 2 1/2 years. He lost the shaggy hair and went from looking like a Hong Kong pop idol to a Japanese toy .

More Tales of My Dirty House

The kitchen is in better shape this week. Stuff gets put into the dishwasher more quickly and there is less crap left on the counter....well, on the top of it anyway. I was leaning on the counter today and when I pulled away my shirt was stuck to the counter so I had to PEEL MY SHIRT AWAY from the counter.

so i sent an email out to a few of you, but i don't know if you guys still use the same email address...so i'll just copy and paste to this blog.

bored at work or whatever it is that you are doing? this could be your lucky day b/c you can go through "art" and help me out!

recently i applied for Projekt30's gallery show for may 2006 in which only 30 artists will be participating. right now, all applicants' (and there's quite a few) art pieces are online for public voting. so through my calculations, i figured that in order for me to be part of the real show, i need to be one of the 30 people with the highest number of votes. so this all depends on you!

go to this website: http://www.projekt30.com/jury.html
and then go to "jury the exhibition" on the left. look for my name and give me a rating of 5 and all the others 1's! actually... just can skip everybody and once you see my name, give me a 5 so the others don't get any points from you guys. however, some of the people do have good stuff. but, i still only gave them a 2 or 3.
it may take awhile before you actually see my turn come up b/c the order of people is random but plllease do this for me b/c i need to whore my name around the art world and this would help me out.

because i applied to the show, Projekt30 also has given me a webspace. the site: www.daphnelo.30art.com

pretty pretty please vote for me. please take the time to go through all the pages of people and finding my name and giving me a highly suggested 5.
please send this to your family, your friends, people i know and don't know, people i forgot to send this email to...everybody! you all will be helping a good cause and i will love each and everyone of you...even more!

thanks everybody. hope you're all doing well.

daph

Minor Annoyance

There are two things in the news presently that annoy me. One, the Iran nuclear enrichment and two, the Duke Lacrosse team rape case.

1) Iran
The thing really gets me in this is the lack of a consistent Bush foreign policy. Iran does not even have nuclear weapons, and yet we allow a nut case country like North Korea to exist? Going to war with Iran will send oil prices sky high and will lead to a global recession, and not to mention 9/11 will look like kid's stuff.

2) Duke LAX
This case has Tawna Brawley written all over it. I predict that the Lacrosse team will be cleared, and conspiracy theories of a cover-up will abound. I would suggest that after all the hullaballoo, Duke University should sue the shit out of the D.A. for libel and defamation, and for good measure the accuser. People like this should not be allowed to exist.

Anyways, these two things are unimportant. What is important is my animal death match idea! Do you thing a Kodiak bear could fight 10 pitbulls? Or how about 20 bob cats fighting a male adult elephant? Or what about lion versus a rodeo bull? Those bulls are mean motherfuckers.

Paddling out in Rhode Island

My pal Darren went to RI last weekend. He came back with these pictures from a secret spot. Those left breaks look awesome. He told me it was breaking like that all day. I respect these guys so much knowing how flipping cold the water is. I feel like such a chump complaining about surfing in 58 degree water here. It is close to 50 degrees there, that is colder than cold.

If this is East Coast surf, then why isn't the NYC pos on this blog paddling out? Looks like an awesome place to go.

"Well Now, That is Some Fucked Up Shit Right There"

I watched what was possibly the greatest movie of my life last night. If you haven't watched "Slither" yet, I recommend putting down whatever it is that you're doing and going to the theatres to watch it immediately.

Go do it, I'll wait here for you.

All right, so you've watched it now? Now do you understand what I mean when I say that this movie is awesome? This campy horror movie has so many great one-liners that I'm going to make it my mission in life (at least for the next month or so) to work them into my everyday conversations. Particularily this one: "It's like looking for a needle in a fuck-stack."

Living in Squalor

While I adore my roommates they are either slobs or can't be bothered to help out (with the exception of one girl who is like me and fed up with the other two's messes) (I think I'm going to miss that roommate the most).

I am baffled by the inability of one girl to take the extra two steps to put something in the recycle bin which is IN THE KITCHEN and instead just leaves it on the counter. Or the other girl's inability to put stuff in the dishwasher and instead just leaves things in the sink. Two of her pots are currently in the sink that have been sitting there SINCE THE WEEKEND.

I have a theory that if those two lived by themselves the house would burn down because one of them forgot to turn off the stove and the fire would be fuelled by the un-wiped grease on the stovetop. Then the fire would spread to the rest of the kitchen because of the overflowing garbage that hadn't been taken out yet.

Joshua Tree National Park

I went to Joshua Tree National park this weekend with my better half. We hiked and climbed around boulders in the desert. Saw some neat rock formations (left: Skull Rock). We stayed in Palm Springs in a little Villa. Nothing funny or scandalous happened.

Kids ask the darndest things

So I had a little conversation with my colleague the other day:

Him: so who's your favorite tennis player?
Me: i don't really have one.
Him: what? you don't watch tennis on tv?
Me: well, not really.
Him: How do you learn to play then???

At that point, I was just like "huhhh?"

If i knew you could learn stuff just by watching how it's done on tv, I've been wasting my time. I could've learned to surf already just by sitting at a bar and watching those videos. It's just like The Matrix! Just get jacked in and away we go.

"I know kung-fu."

Let us all take five minutes ...

and pray for Little Thingies foot. Please do not let the gonnorhea spread further from his foot. Can I get AMEN! Can I get a PRAISE THE LORD!!!!! YEAH!!!!!!

Dinner

Last night me and my better half had dinner with C-rap and his lady friend. It was a tasty dinner at Las Olas the local mexican restaurant. I had a grilled fish torta, C-rap had rolled tacos, chixwithknives had a tostada, and the lady friend had baja fish tacos.

Anyways, the highlight of the evening was observing chixwithknives interacting with said lady friend. It was like watching a tooth extraction. Every question was answered by a single word response from C-rap's friend. Even loaded questions were answered with a single word. It was quite entertaining and painful at the same time.

For example the response to the question, "Who did you go to China with?" was answered with, "A group." Hello!!!???? It was like watching an adult talking to a little child. I have seen 12 year olds who had better skillz (i.e., JHR's son). Maybe she was shy, but at the age of 22 I would expect there to be some sort of conversational facilities. Even her body language suggested she was socially stunted. She was like a human Harlow monkey. On the drive home I wondered what those two talked about.

Mirrormask and my foot

Saw another interesting movie this weekend:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0366780

You should check it out, very nice-looking film. It's a Jim Henson production, along the lines of Labrynth and the Dark Crystal. And speaking of Dark Crystal, I hear there's a sequel coming out or something.


In other news, i have some wierd but bite on my foot. It looks like it was stung by a jellyfish. Starting from the ball of my foot, it looks like i have the Puma symbol (the swooosh) going up my foot. It's wierd. I'm guessing i was bitten by a spider or something (I see no bite mark), no mosquito leaves a mark like that. The itchiness really sucks and it feels tender. But at least it's not infected or anything.

Any opinions from any doctors??

This morning I was awoken by a rumble. All the windows in the house shook. For a second I thought a large truck drove by my window. Then I th0ught "maybe it was an earthquake?" This seemed unlikely as the dog did not wig out. I checked the seismic activity government site and they reported no earthquakes for SD. Then I find out they are blowing shit up at the local marine base 50 miles away. SHIT! That is one enormous mortar blast.

More Golden Bear memories of Hub Mall ...

I am going to start posting Space Moose comics for my entries. So much more entertaining. I really miss hanging out at Hub Mall. Where else can you make fun of all those freakin' Koreans? I have heard some of the most idiotic conversations from that race. For example, one time a Korean girl (who's name I will not mention) rationalized to me that that it was God's will that she failed her chem mid-term. WTF????? It is more like she did not study and spent all her time in the library socializing with the other low-life Koreans.

Timeout

I realize there's a lot of aggression and broken dreams on this site. Some of you need a timeout so I refer you to this site:

http://www.cuteoverload.com/

Just relax and take it all in.

A PhD in defecation

For all of us Golden Bears out there ....

House of Blues

My house has been pretty depressed these past few weeks. 3 out of the 4 of us are in various stages of the blues. It's like living in a live version of some really horrible Victorian novel that a Bronte sister would write about.

Thankfully tomorrow is Friday and we're having a Girls' Night. Gonna go out to drink, be merry and forget all this stupid shit :)

This site has some pretty good stuff. I cannot imagine the thought process involved in creating such astounding pieces of visual cinema.

Hi

Hi, I'm going back to H.K. this summer from end of June to mid of Aug. Should we arrange a trip for all cousins next year?

The Strokes

I am off to see the Strokes tonight. Eagles of Death Metal are opening. I saw them 5 years ago on the Is This It tour. They played the Cat's Cradle in Carborro. Cave In opened (on a side note the Icarus Line were playing down the street that night and spray painted $UCKING DICK on their tour bus). The Strokes were completely wasted. During the last song Julian Casablanca whacks himself in the head with a Heineken bottle. The bottle did not break, but he was pretty dazed. I thought he was going to pass out. At that point, one eye was looking left and the other was looking right. For all of us Canucks, Narduar is in this picture. I love Narduar, he is the only annoying person I like if that makes any sense.

PS. For some reason every time I see the singer I think of my younger brother Irate J. Must be something to do with the bags under the eyes.

Vacation time

Ok, time to get it together again. Who's up for summer vacation? If so, who's up for going somewhere like hawaii? If we go to hawaii, there's an off chance that hawaiian 5-0 can get discounts on hotels or other conveniences.

Or is everyone busy coming to HK?

I need to know right away because vacation during peak season really sucks. Well, the vacation itself is sweet. It's the damn airlines that arbitrarily decide to make things hell for travellers. Down with Air Canada! Burn starbucks!! Burn GAP!!! @#%*$*!

Hijinks at the Gym

I was at the gym today and while doing "clean and press"-es I hit myself with the crossbar...again :(

With the clean and press you lift the bar up and pop it above your head in order work out your legs and back. Well, on the way up I hit myself in the chin with the bar. Thankfully I didn't have the full momentum going otherwise I think I would've knocked myself out. That would've been embarrassing. More embarrassing than the time I hit myself in the forehead with the crossbar while doing "skull-crushers".

If you are wondering ....

what the hell me and Little Thingies are commenting about, then you should head over to www.sickanimation.com and watch the Red Dragon Club cartoon (run-on sentence). That is some ill shit. Some of you with more polite sensitivities may want to stay away from this (NSFW).

The weekend

I went to go see V is for Vendetta this weekend. I liked it, but thought it lacked subtlety. I wonder how it will do in the red states. Will they even get it?

Went to West Hollywood last night to the Vine bar. Nick Jago (who for some reason reminds me of Little Thingie) from BRMC was DJ'ing. Some dude grabbed my head as I was walking by. He felt bad when I turned around. He thought I was someone else and offered to buy me a drink. Later that night, he introduced me to the guy who he thought he was grabbing. His friend was a good looking guy! The guitar players from NIN were there. It was pretty good night- good music, good crowd, cool location - except that drinks were not cheap. They even played Spacemen 3!!!!

Countdown to Sweet, Sweet Freedom

I have exactly one month to go before I'm released from my prison that is school. But before I'm free I have to write 5 exams, 4 of which are weighted at 100%. Meaning, those exams have the power to erase my existence at school. I predict Good Times.

I still don't know where I'll be this summer. I don't want to work, but I'm being told that being a bum for four months is not an option. I don't know what to do. Maybe I'll just sell my car and use the proceeds to run away for the summer to go to the North and participate in the seal hunt.

Has this ever happened to you???

I went to the cafeteria today to buy lunch. I bought an egg salad sandwich and added mustard. While eating at my desk the egg salad fell on my pants!!!!! My crotch was covered in mustard and egg salad. I had to go to the bathroom to wipe it off. In the end my crotch was wet and yellow.

Luckily I have a sweatshirt in the office to tie around my waist.

Surfin' USA

I am glad I went to the beach today. I busted out of work at 3:30 headed down to LJ shores. It was clear blue skys and 70 degrees. The water was 56, definitely chilly. I am glad I wore booties. These are one of my most cherished posessions. 3-5 ft sets were rolling in with decent shape. Someone got in my way only once today. I was in a good mood so I did not try to run him over. We surfed for about an hour. I got 2 pretty decent rides.

No jellyfish, clean water, no aggro dudes in the line-up. My body is tired and sore now. I have not surfed since I busted my hand in October.

It was a good day. Ask Little Thingies about surfing. He knows.

Next generation hardness

I just didn't believe he got the xbox 360 until i went over and saw it myself. But anyways, there it was. You should see the power brick for this thing, you could brain someone with it. I tried out Perfect Zero...WOW. Unbelievable I grew up playing the Atari.

But first person shooters aren't my thing. So i'll be going out to pick up some driving games. You can party with those. And Fight Night! Awesome!

When he's gone back to Canada, it'll become my domain ha ha.

Bustin' Out!

Another crappy day at work. I have decided to bust out early and meet C-Smooth to go surf.

Yeah! That is what I am talking about. It is sunny and 75! Waves, smell of surf wax, dank wetsuit ...

Summer Fun

Is anyone going to HK this summer? I'm thinking of going there May to Mid-August.

Art Gotham Over

so the gallery show i participated in is over. and nobody bought my crap. boohoo...
maybe you would like to buy them? $300 each for a 1'x1' canvas...it is suggested to buy all 4 of them for the full effect. and then you can hang them up in a 2 x 2 square for a bigger "1 piece" painting.
if you don't want to have them, i'll still take your money though.

I AM 33 TODAY.

The times on this blog are all wrong, but it is 3/21 today in sunny San Diego. Too bad I have work today and the water is too cold and polluted to go surfing. I am sure I can find some other trouble to get on in!

Today will be one of those "Taking drugs to make music to take drugs to" days.

Birthday Greetings and a Story

It's xcharlesbronsonx's birthday today so let's all give him a set of birthday bumps.

Going down memory lane I want to re-tell the tale of how he nearly let me drown when we were younger. We were on a family vacation and one day we were all at the outdoor pool having fun in the sun. He met some other kids his own age and decided to play with them in the big-person swimming pool. I wanted to play in the pool with them so our parents set me up with a floating tube since I didn't know how to swim while xcharlesbronsonx was supposed to look after me.

Well, I was cramping xcharlesbronsonx's style and him and his friends swam to the deep end. I tried to follow them but I let go of my tube and fell below the surface of the water and freaked out underwater. A very nice gentleman noticed my predicament and rescued me.

So the moral of this story is don't cramp xcharlesbronsonx's style.

Sworn to pleasure, loot and treasure!

I had nice birthday dinner last night. C-smooth gave me a surf magazine and a bottle of Patron Anejo. If you don't know Patron, I feel sorry for you man! I also got an Ugly Doll from my pal Scottish Kate. Pretty good times. The food and company was brilliant (anchovie and capers on my pizza yo!).

Battle of the Dishwasher

Today's post will be an opinion poll. I'll tell you guys about my roommate and you guys can tell me if my OCD is too much.

One of my roommates is a perfectly nice girl but she's a slob. This week it was just the two of us in the house since our other two roommates were on Spring Break. I could tell she was putting in an effort to be neater, she would actually put her dishes in the dishwasher right away as opposed to leaving them on the counter or in the sink.

But whenever she loads her dishes she loads them in the most random places. A bowl in the middle of the rack (so that you can't place anything around it), cups where the bowls go (bowls have their own special place because they don't fit neatly anywhere else), etc...

My beef boils down to the fact that it's not an efficient use of space; if you don't stack the dishes properly then you can't maximize the number of dishes you can fit in and will then have dishes leftover that you'll have to wash by hand.

Should I just be happy that she loads the dishwasher, period and invest in some meds to relieve my OCD?

Ichi the Killer

We finally watched Ichi the Killer at Wayne's recommendation. Sick shit. Made me feel a little queasy. Another other flicks I should catch?

V for Awesome, Part II

Just watched "V for Vendetta". I think the general consensus is that this movie rocks hard but I would like to add that after watching this movie I have added another goal to my list for this year: I'm stepping up my workouts so I can get a waist as tiny as Natalie Portman's.

hung over in Del Mar

I feel so hung over today. I went to a party last night thrown by the tattoo artist I go to. It was in this sleazy dive bar. Heavy dub and rock steady was being played. The place was full of tattooed peeps. I met so many weird people (horse trainers, welders, telecom engineers, etc ...). Afterwards I went to Denny's in PB around 3 am. It was a scene from hell. So man kids passed out in the booths/tables. People were fighting in the parking lot, kids puking in the bushes.

What did everyone else do last night?

this deserves a posting

i wanted to share something with you all. especially b/c i've noticed that my cousins are a bunch of idiots who say a lot of retarded things.
you will appreciate this guy then...for real, you should read all of his entries. damn hilarious. and you see him make fun of children's drawings...
i love him.
http://maddox.xmission.com/

Amanda Bynes

YO YO YO!!! I'm gonna go see She's The Man this weekend. Who's with me??

so...

so...
it took me forever to get to the page where i can write a post. i had to go into my profile and then go to home and then finally found the posting tab. there has got to be an easier way to post. i don't see anything! i don't see posting-related buttons on the actual blog. am i blind? maybe.
so...
i think i have a ginormous pimple growing on my left elbow. it hurts. ok, discuss..........

V for Awesome

Seriously, go watch V for Vendetta now! Down with the government! Down with Starbucks! Down with Gap!

Anyways, for anyone that hasn't been added as a member, send me the email you used to sign up to Blogger. I can't do anything until I have your email.

Pay Attention to Me!

Go visit my other blog please: The Heidi Report. The comments section is looking pitiful and my blog needs to feel validated.

Praise the lord ...

Today is one of the greatest days of year. If you don't know what day it is today, I feel sorry for you man. Today is the start of the NCAA Basketball Tournament. What a great day to be alive! Can I get a hearty Praise the Lord! Thank you our heavenly father for providing us with our yearly providence of sports gambling blah blah blah ....

I am predicting Gonzaga goes out early like the punk bitches they are.

Go Duke!

I'd just like to say...

Happy birthday to Bronson. Am I the first one to say it so far? Man it feels good being the first one. I'm awesome.

Scenes from the Asian market

1) Fascism and Veganism go hand and hand.
2) This shit is fresh yo!

Gross Food Day

Today is Gross Food Day. Post your most disgusting meals or dirty restaurants. GO!

Simple Rules

Just one rule, stop changing your gawdamn names too often! You're like a moving target; I can't ridicule you if I don't know who's behind the name (because I've allowed random strangers to post comments as well).


I smell a'poo coming.

I Was Given the Finger by Fate Today

The weather here in K-hole has been really nice lately and I thought it was finally spring so I thought I'd be pro-active and take my wool winter coats to the dry-cleaner for freshening before putting them away.

2:30pm: I go to the dry-cleaners and give them my winter jackets
3:45pm: It starts snowing again
3:46pm: I scream "shit motherfucker shit fuck" at my window

fruitbooting

From the Urban Dictionary:

Fruitbooterz
Def: One who takes part in the gay sport of rollerblading which is last in the hierarchy of extreme sports which looks like this:
Surfing > Skateboarding > BMX > Fruitbooting
Usage: That gay dude fruitbootz.

So who is this rollerblade_boy? I didn't think I had any gay cousins? Am I wrong?

Cluster Fuck

Looks like we maybe reaching critical mass with contributors to this blog. I want to see the peeps in NY and UK throw up some mad stories yo! My life here is pretty quiet these days, I need to live vicariously through all the young 'uns on here. For example, last night I was at Los Olas with some surfer friends drinking beer and tequila. Pretty underwhelming.

Welcome all foreigners (English people)

New member today!! I assume he's gonna bring soccer hooligans with him.

Upcoming events in SD

These are the events I am going to in the near future.

March of the Mod (3 day mod weekend with bands, all-nighters and rallies)
108 (Krishna Core)
Righteous Jams (Beantown straight-edge)
Greenhornes (60's garage frat rock)
Tragedy (smelly punx from OR)
Fucked Up! (Toronto hardcore!)
Earthless and Isis (brutal 20 minute metal jams)
Apes (organ driven DC weirdness)

Music is pretty damn good this year. Which one of you fuckers wants to come along?

ASIAN GANGSTA BITCHES and DURIAN

I was grocery shopping at the local Asian mall today. I was minding my own buisness - you know like sniffing the durian to see which one I should bring home. There is nothing I like better than a dank piece of durian. It is important to pick a ripe one, otherwise you have to cook it with coconut to make it yummy.

While sniffing the spiky fruits, I hear this noise of girls screaming and laughing. I was like WTF as this is interupting my durian picking experience. I go back to inspecting the durians. You know you got to pick a soft stinky one. The noise still does not stop. So I go take a look see in front of the store, all the while thinking "no one better steal my fucking cart with my righteous durian." I immediatly see 20 asian girls dressed in black (tight hoochy mama pants), high heels, and way too much fucking make-up. I was like great! Fucking asian sorority girls. But then I see 15 girls dressed as FUCKING SHREK! They had their faces painted and the whole 10 yards for the costume (even down to the clown size feet). The "SHREKs" were singing and dancing - generally acting like morons. A crowd of Saturday night asian shoppers stood and watched. Some were bemused, while the rest were confused.

All I could think was how fucked up this was. If my kids every join the Greek system in college I will seriously lay the beats on them or have them sent to re-education camp. After fantasizing about tossing a hand grenade in the crowd I walked back into the store. I was glad to see my cart and durian was still there!

I called my friend Whitey C afterwards. He asked his brother's GF if what I saw was a pledge event. She said, "Yeah, I help planned that!"

I Am Vain

There's this antique stand with a mirror attached in the front hall of the house. Because of the shoddy craftsmanship the mirror is at slight angle but I absolutely adore the tilted angle; I have yet to look bad in that mirror. At any given time I can be found in the front hall checking myself out in the mirror. In fact, if I'm having a bad day I will purposely go down two flights of stairs to the front hall and look in the mirror to cheer myself up and then go back to my room.

NYC STORIES

So my man J Smoothe is not giving up the NYC stories. So I will have to bust some out.

So four years ago I was in NY for the annual neuroscience dick stroking convention. My pal Cookie calls me up and asks if I want to go to a birthday party at a strip bar. I was like sure, I am so done with these neuroscience dorks. I am always down to go the strip club with ladies. So I tell the neuroscience fuckers I am at the hotel bar with that I am going to the strip club with Cookie. They were shocked and envious. I felt like the coolest dude in the universe at that exact moment. So she picks me at the Marriott in Times Square and we head off to the Pussy Cat Lounge by ground zero.

When I get there the party was out of control. It was free booze and righteous tunes. The best part was all the bands playing and the strippers up front! Japanther played the best set that night of spazzed out punk. The singer was on some serious drugs. The DJ's in between bands were even better. I don't care who you are, if you can't bust it when someone plays OPP then you are a serious faggot. They played old school 80's hip hop. Imagine a strip club full of Williamsburg hipsters bumping and grinding to "It Takes 2." Cookie and I broke it down on the dance floor and represented Cali. As the night progressed I got tired from all the booze and other stuff so I sat beside the world's thinnest man. It turns out to be Nick from the YYY's. He was nice. Did I mention all the Yakuza lookin guys. Anyways, as 6 am broke I trundled back to the hotel thinking "I FUCKIN' LOVE NY!"

Next time I'll write about the VTNM dudes.

Utah and Colorado

First pic - top of Breckenridge, Colorado
Second pic - top of Snowbird, Utah.

High altitude, thin air. Awesome.

NYC Stories

Daphne had her first art show. Check the website - www.artgotham.com

This weekend, Nora's having a show in NYC but she's not flying over - www.divafair.com/newyork/diva.html

Never go back.

I went to PB Bar and Grill last night. It was going off, I am sure there was a fire code violation with the number of people packed in there. Pints and high balls were $2. My pal D from Edmonton was visiting, so I wanted to show him the local wildlife. This was the first time I had been there, the place is gigantic. Visualize an outdoor beer garden attached to a sports bar attached to a full-on dance club. Combined with no cover at the door, the place was packed with kids from UCSD and SDSU. I was amazed at the number of asian kids. At least 60% of the people there were an asian of some type (the club must of been stoked there were no Viet kids causing fights). They came in all sorts of shapes and sizes. If I was a pervy white dude I would of been stoked. Some she-male with tatts kept on bumping into me.

There is not much to this story. I would not go back again. It just reminded me too much of being back in college and those crappy nights at the club. There are somethings y0u can never or want to go back to. I am going to go out on a limb and say 90% of the kids there last night are waking up right now and asking themselves, "Man, that was shitty last night and I am waking up alone in bed...FUCK."

Buongiorno Beetches!

How are you beetches doing?

Long time no talk.

Should be good stuff.

See you out there.

I feel sorry for myself ...

Not sure how I ended up wasted last night. Went to the Turf Club and had to wait an hour for a table. So we drank at the bar. I was on my third martini (Ketal 1 straight with a twist) by the time we were seated. I was so gone. I managed to get home and drunk dial E. We talked about how great I am. So I was sitting in physics class this morning. It was brutal. I was hung over and learning about second derivatives w.r.t. electrical charges in point space and divergence/curl operators. Did I mention the Maxwell equations? Chew on that for a second.

Since there is only one day left for Floorpunch week, here is another quote from the mighty Punch -"I'm gonna spit through this window. When they come out, we're fighting."

The LO's are here!

The LO's.... the LO's!!!! Jesus Christ THE LO's! That's like undeniable glory, y'know!!!!!!

My New LCD Monitor is the Sexiest Thing I Have Ever Seen

My new 17" LCD LG monitor is a sexy bitch and is completely blowing my mind with how vivid the colours are. And there aren't any dead pixels :)

This completely kicks the ass up and down the hallway of the pair of red patent leather mary-jane Pradas I bought for my birthday a few years back. And that says a lot since I love my Pradas so much that I've named them.

F*@K!

I had to take a shower with cold water last night. I had to shiver under the shower for 10 minutes because I had to wash my hair because I had just come back from spin class. Fucking eh, what the hell happened to all the hot water last night?

I also finally told my friend that I want to live by myself next year. It was really awkward and I almost blurted out "I hope we can still be friends" afterwards.

There are retards living amongst us

A little background info. There's an anonymous forum on the staff intranet where staff can post questions to bank executives and hope for a half-ass response. How much you wanna bet it's not anonymous? It basically achieves nothing, the exec's will provide a standardized bullshit response, but staff are happy because they think they're making a difference.

Some more background, the bank is very bitter that Citibank is the global leader and there's a huge gap between them and us. Nevermind the fact that they probably have fewer retards working for them.

One last note, the bank spent HUGE money worldwide to unify the brand under one name...the brand you see all over the ads and stuff. Yeah it's a waste of money because people in North America have still never heard of the brand.

With all that in mind, it blows my mind that someone actually submitted the following question:

"'H5BC' does not sound great and difficult to pronounce. 'Citibank' sounds much better. Any plan to change?"

Here's my suggestion, CountriBank should work since a hard 'C' is easier to pronounce for a fob than a soft 'C'. And a Countri sounds much bigger and important than a Citi.

Or we should make the name inline with our moto "we are the best". Just call the bank.....The Bank. Or The Best Bank. (Below is the 3rd place winner of a tshirt design contest last year. The endless flow of talent and creativity here never ceases to amaze me).

But then again, BB might be confused with Best Buy which is no good since it's a discount electronics store...we obviously can't let our bank be associated with such a cheap brand.

I like sound of repeating letters like BB and hard C's so let's work with that girlfriend. Let's combine that idea with my first idea of Countri...but we'll spell with a 'K' so we have Kountri, just to throw the competition off balance (what will those crazy guys think of next?!?!). We should keep Hong Kong somewhere in the name so that local people can feel some pride about the brand. So Kountri Hong Kong Bank = KHKB.

But that's no good, i want repeating letters like BB. So how about we drop the H because let's face it, Hong kong isn't very hong anymore, it smells like shit.

With Bank, we can just drop the BAN and keep the K because BAN sounds a little negative.

So i propose the new name of our bank:

KKK

We'll finally break into the "unpenetrable" market of the confederate states and gain much needed exposure in the Southern USofA! They'll be lining up to use KKK bank machines.

This is music ...

Things that I am listening to these days -

Integrity - Palm Sunday bootleg
I could go on and on about this band. They were the first to mix straightedge, Slayer type metal with WWF theatrics (i.e., pulling guns at shows, beating up kids, violence as sport ...). The lyrics are hard as nails. The usage of the word "motherfucker" is used to maximum potential. Kids today should listen to Integrity instead of shitty mall punk bands like Atreyu (those bands are the logical extension of 80's hair metal). Did I mention that Integrity was into the Church of Final Judgement? If I was christian I would go to this church. The lamb and goat have indeed fused.

Elliot Smith - All
Too bad his shitty shit shit asian girlfriend killed him. Another reason why asian girls are bat shit crazy. But seriously, I am still sad about his passing. Just listen to "I didn't understand" on XO. At the end of the song, you expect the song to end at the same place where it started, but instead it goes two octaves up. The octave change is unexpected and it makes the song that much more memorable.

Robbers on High Street - Tree City
Think of a college rock version of Billy Joel. Yes, the songwriting is that strong. They employ all the tools of the trade in writing catchy hooks. The lyrics are pretty good in terms of a musical device. Can't say I care much for the narrative though.

The Stooges - S/T and Raw Power
Iggy is the man. He injected heroin into his eye. Enough said.

Also, it is Floorpunch week. In honor of Floorpunch week I am going to put up a quote by Chris Zusi of Floorpunch - "People who are straight edge and don't call themselves straight edge are fucking gay. They are one step away from taking a dick up the ass."

Breaking Up is Hard to Do

So I'm in a bit of a situation. I had orginally told my friend that I'd be roommates with him next year since we both wanted to cut down on costs (I really want cable tv and it'd be cheaper with two people).

But I've given it some thought and I think I might want to live by myself instead. I lived by myself for a bit before school and even now I live on the 3rd floor by myself with my own bathroom so it's almost like living by myself, and I've decided that I really like having my own space.

So is cable tv good enough of a reason to share a bathroom with another person? And how would I tell my friend that I don't want to live with him anymore? Does it make a difference that I'm just casual acquantices with him (my rational for choosing him as a roommate was that I knew him well enough that he wouldn't steal and hock my stuff, but not that well that if we had a falling out over living together, I wouldn't be losing a close friendship)?

Fun for the whole family!

Seriously, one of the things a person never expects his dad to call and ask:

"So, I'm at the store putting down the deposit for the Xbox 360. You sure this thing has better graphics than the PS2?"

Thank you for smoking

Man, I almost lost it and exploded at work today. So after being virtually smoke free (well...almost) since new years, I had to cool off during lunch time and have a smoke. Stupid me, i'll have to try again after today is over.

I must move on to greener pastures.

Hard times coming your way ...

South Dakota has banned abortions, even in cases of rape and incest. This is so backwards that I cannot even comprehend the thought process behind this. My wish would be that the children of all the supporters get raped. Let's see what they would think of this ban now.

This is similar to the idea of sending the children of politicians who supported the war to Iraq.

One can only wish and dream for such great things.

Birthday Present for Myself

I finally jumped on the LCD monitor bandwagon and ordered one today from the campus computer store. I had asked Little Thingies earlier for advice on choosing one and he sent me a nice comprehensive e-mail. Unfortunately I didn't use a lot of the advice because the computer store works on a catalogue basis. You choose what you want out of the catalogue and they get their warehouse to ship it over (Sort of like a really shitty version of Consumer's Distributed).

So we'll find out next week if I'll be calling up LG and complaining about dead pixels.

Another Thing that I Worry About

After my strength-building class at the gym today I realized that I have another fear. I'm afraid that one day while I'm putting away my weights and crossbar someone will push into me and I'll poke my eye out with the business-end of the crossbar. Seriously, what's wrong with me? I have too much paranoia.

On another note, I posted more pictures of my San Diego trip on my other blog. There's a picture of xcharlesbronsonx attacking the dog.

That will be $140

I went to the skateboard shop today and dropped down for a helmet and pads. I am off the skatepark tomorrow!

I am picking up all my interests again I had growing up. The best thing is that no one can limit my time with them now. Sometimes it is pretty rad to be a grown-up. I can skateboard all day and all night.

Draw a straight line from point A to point B ...

Went to the Turf Club last night with my man J and his woman. No eating, just drinking vodka martinis. My drinks were a little on the wet side. But none the less, they have the best drinks in this sleepy one horse town. We left after the Gregs showed up. You could stick the entire Sears hardware section in those guys. We then went to TGIF for food cause J was hungry. That place was packed with UCSD students. The fucked up thing was that each table was race unique. There was no race mixing at the tables. That is fucked up beyond belief.

Came home stumbling and went to bed. Stepped on the dog on the way in.

Things I Worry About

Speaking of Japanese horror movies, remember that scene from "Hypnosis" where the girl enters a haze and starts sprinting and can't stop and eventually her shin breaks in half? I'm sort of afraid of that happening to me. It could be that I'm worrying over nothing, but I'll explain my reasonings and you guys can tell me.

• I have this fear that I'll develop osteoporosis. I take calcium supplements and drink milk everyday but I still think I will develop it.
• I do a lot of running now because school and other things are giving me worry-lines and running helps to calm me down.
• I've never broken a bone or sprained anything so I don't think my luck can hold out much longer.

I should really find something more productive to worry about, shouldn't I?

Ghost story time!

Me and hawaiian 5-0 (soon to be member if she passes initial testing) just watched Resurrection. Very disappointing.

Anyways, the following is a true story that happened to Hawaiian 5-0's colleague...you know those crazy investment bankers. Too much snort and they start seeing/hearing things.

It starts off like this...it's another month-end stretch and the poor guy is stuck at the office until the late hours of the morning. He finally decides it's time to go home. He grabs his coat and heads out the building where he proceeds to grab a taxi. Well lemme tell you about that part of central. I can imagine it passing off as an old, haunted industrial area with the right kind of lighting and fog.

The guy is tired, but hey! What luck! A taxi is already down there waiting for him. So as usual, he gets into the back seat and tells the driver "take me home!" The driver starts driving...and suddenly says "sorry for the trouble, but there's an extra passenger. Hope you dont' mind." So the guy starts looking around the taxi but of course, doesn't see anything. So he's like "whatever" and continues staring blankly out the window.

(Interruption) At this point in the story, i'm like "yeah bullshit, your colleague is probably on drugs or something. I dont' believe this story!"

ANyways, back to the story. After a few moments, after no response from the banker, the driver assumes he wasn't heard the first time and says the same thing again. "Sorry, my wife wasn't feeling well tonight. AFter dropping you off, I'll be taking my wife to the hospital" The banker, at this point, starts getting creeped out. He done another quick glance around the taxi and doesn't see anything.

The banker starts freaking out, he wishes he followed his heart and became a florist instead so he wouldn't have to put up with these late nights at the office followed by creepy taxi rides home. So he starts thinking "do i politely ask the taxi driver to stop so i can get out? Or do i just kick the door open and jump out as if my life depended on it?" So he's there getting goosebumps, trying to get a grasp of all the crazy thoughts going through his mind.

While sitting there sweating bullets, a dark figure starts rising from the front passenger seat. Imagine the Ring when Sadako starts crawling out of the TV with the long stringy hair barely doing a good job of covering that horror that is her face. Well it's the same thing in this taxi. But instead of giving a cursed look of tortured pain, the dark figure starts talking!!! (In chinese of course and with the requisite almost-dead voice) "My apologies Mister, hope you don't mind me riding in the taxi with you. I'm not feeling well and my husband is taking me to the hospital."

Harold Hunter RIP

Legends never die.

PUNCHBUGGY GREEN!!!!!!

Somedays you just want to punch something. I wonder what it would feel like to punch an octopus. Probably pretty good until he grabbed you and put the hurt on.

Listen to The Stooges. Makes me want to drive a camaro, smoke Lucky Strikes and drink cheap beer.

ARGGGGH

So I'm in charge of my own little application at work. I get to design, code, document, and make any decisions since it's mine. So I've been updating, making a log of my changes, backing up previous versions, versioning whatever i have, etc. It's all mine. I think up of improvements and keep an eye out for bugs. Just work away at it whenever I have time at work.

Well there's an email component to it...and lately it's been getting harder and harder to code. Then my manager finally tells me, "oh wow, it's like you wrote your own mail server." ARGGGGHHHH. No one told me!!! Son of a bitch, no wonder it's getting hard to organize my code and do things properly. Oh well, at least he says it's better this way so we dont' have to use someone else's mail server.

poop

I just nearly passed out in the bathroom. My lower GI tract is so unhappy. My insides came pretty close to coming out. How am I suppose to go on a 5 mile run today?

My Fridge is Making Me Angry

I think the fridge in my house is broken again. I took a swig of milk from an unopened carton (granted it's been sitting in the fridge since before Reading Week, but the expiration date was March 7th) and nearly did a spit-take. It just tasted fowl; it was bitter and sour all at the same time. I poured it down the sink and it smelled pretty bad.

At least this time isn't as bad as the last time the fridge broke down. Last time my brand new milk curdled into yogurt in two short days; I tried pouring a glass of milk and it came out in chunky streams.

Turfing out the weasels ...

So my significant other's position with the group was blocked today. I blame two people squarely: 1) one of them is totally nice to her face, but at the closed door meeting he was violently opposed to hiring her; 2) the incompetent junior person, I am suprised she even has a job (I guess she feels threatened since she is so shitty at her job).

Anyways, I wished there was a world where I could turf out all the truly shitty shit shit people. This list would include so many people. In fact, I bet your name would be on there twice.

Maybe it is time to start looking for greener pastures. Edmonton?

I don't like Mondays

I hate the start of a new week.

Nothing exciting to report.

Me Getting into Trouble at the Aquarium

Leave us kids alone...

Check out this article.

All I have to say is, where is Maury gonna send those kids now?? Where Maury?? WHERE???

The LO's

The LO's!!! The LO's!!! Where are the LO's? They are like undeniable genius... you know what I mean???!!!

what I do at work ...

xcharlesbronsonx: Do only me, Heidi and you read the blog? Where are the LO’s!!!!!!!! Man, so many people let me down.

Little_thingies: ok ok, but i'm waiting for things to pick up on the blog. I think we need more inflammatory material on there...then it'll be interesting.

xcharlesbronsonx: Well I don’t want to get kicked out of the country for saying shit. The last thing I need is to be put on the U.S. no-fly list. Another idea is if we get a cousins message board. That would be righteous.

Little_thingies: ok ok, i'll start brainstorming some shit up. as long as you sign off each post with "Jesus is great" i'm sure you'll be ok.

xcharlesbronsonx: Why isn’t Jeff on here?

Little_thingies: i've sent him the link, but no response. He must be busy with trying to make his dataset match whatever results he gets...haha

xcharlesbronsonx: That is pretty funny. It is like some sort of inverse operation.

Little_thingies: not an inverse operation. I think he must be trying to brute force the correct data set seeing as how he stays at the office so late.

"does this work? .....nope"
"does this work? .....nope"
"does this work? .....nope"
"does this work? .....nope"
"does this work? .....nope"
"does this work? .....nope"

xcharlesbronsonx: Hmm …I see he is traversing the entire problem space. How does this method minimize time spent in local minimas and maximas?

Little_thingies: he doesn't because he didn’t realize his div/0 ERRORS are a result of mistakenly labeling his local maxima as the global maxima.
xcharlesbronsonx: Jeff is going to beat you up. When was the last time Jeff laid a beat down on you? Anyways, I am going home now. I am going to get a slurpee on the way home.

Little_thingies: if you didnt' forward, i would've forwarded it myself because this is another winning conversation.

xcharlesbronsonx: I can’t believe Jeff still has not responded. He must be using all his super powers to contain his rage. I spose the rage will come later at home.

Little_thingies: he's either at lunch or he's focusing his primordial rage at pushing feces out.

xcharlesbronsonx: he did not even sniff at the bait. that is some self-control.

Jeff: you guys are sooooooooooooooooooooooo funny. I'll give dan a serious beating later.

hey summer, where you been?

It has been a nice week with Heidi visiting. The dog is totally enjoying her visit. She is so starved for attention (the dog I mean, not Heidi). Anyways, pretty easy day today. Dropped off Heidi at the spa, picked her up, ate a righteous japanese lunch, 20 degrees and sunny, wicked sunset, had a nice home cooked meal (seafood stew), Jen took her shopping. All in all, I would say it's been a good week. Tomorrow Minna will take her shopping in the morning. Then I'll drop her off at the beach. Tomorrow night will be some tequila madness. Saturday will be the zoo. Then it is off to the airport. Such a short visit, she needs to come back this summer. Maybe Coach Dan will come too.

P.S. Listen to Bob Dylan.

man pig

I just wanted to say that word.

Tomorrow I am taking Heidi to Old Town SD. Maybe I can recreate the Mexico trip with Coach Dan. Nahhhh.. I just got a new car. No puke in the car please!

California, Caliiiiiiiifoooooooornia

I can't get the OC theme out of my head these days. Del Mar rocks like a cool asian nerd in figuring out pi to the 100th decimal point. Hmm....that was a really bad analogy.
Can anybody help me out come up with a better one?

xcharlesbronsonx, Jen and Lex are really cool and a wholte lotta fun. If this whole law school thing doesn't work out I'm going to move to Del Mar to become a beach bum and to open a Starbucks. Yes, I know being a beach bum and opening a Starbucks go against each other's philosophies, but who says I can't be a yuppie, corporate beach bum?

A sad day ...

Canada losing to Russia.

hey dude! hey! Keep the spirit of rock alive!!!

So Heidi and I went to the beach this morning to hang out. Now we are going to breakfest at a restaurant on the water. Life is so tough on the mean streets of the D.M.

Keeping it real yo!

I want my dvd's

Check out this article.

Right on the money. These content owners have taken it too far. I'm a legitimate consumer and I don't know how many times I've been fucked over by these assholes. I buy a laptop in Canada, bring it to HK, suddenly my dvd player can't watch movies I buy over here because of different region encoding. Same story for my PS2. So what am I to do? Of course buy pirated stuff that's free of any encoding.

I buy a new HDTV, if I'm unable to watch movies at the full resolution I paid for because of their retarded digital caps, I'll be plenty pissed off.

Look what they've done to the PS3, they've totally killed it before it even got its chance because they just can't agree on blu-ray content-protection standards.

Luckily I'm in HK, I have no incentive to play by their rules. I have the money to pay for their shit, but I'm the one being punished for it. Too bad, wan chai is just a bus ride away. Buying like 5 games/movies for less than $20 doesn't hurt my bottom line. All the bandwidth in the world means I can get the goods delivered to my computer if I'm too lazy to take a ride.

hmmmm ....

I am not sure why Bush is so enthusiastic about the port deal with the UAE. Just last year his administration blocked a Chinese company from buying a U.S. oil company.

Shape of my Heart

I'd like to take some time out of a busy Sunday to say happy birthday to Heidi from everyone in HK. Well actually, it's just me and Joanne saying happy bday.

Here's a long overdue pic from xmas.

Well if I'm so busy, what am i doing at home blogging? Blogging and listening to Backstreet Boys!!! It's 2:30 pm, time to start drinking.

Reading week has started, reading week has started...

My three roommates have left me all alone in the house since I'm not leaving town till tomorrow morning and they couldn't want to get the hell out of here.

I sort of feel like walking around the house in my underwear and singing Kelly Clarkson songs as loudly as possible.

Does this make me a loser? What if I chose to sing Gwen Stefani songs?