Thursday, March 09, 2006

There are retards living amongst us

A little background info. There's an anonymous forum on the staff intranet where staff can post questions to bank executives and hope for a half-ass response. How much you wanna bet it's not anonymous? It basically achieves nothing, the exec's will provide a standardized bullshit response, but staff are happy because they think they're making a difference.

Some more background, the bank is very bitter that Citibank is the global leader and there's a huge gap between them and us. Nevermind the fact that they probably have fewer retards working for them.

One last note, the bank spent HUGE money worldwide to unify the brand under one name...the brand you see all over the ads and stuff. Yeah it's a waste of money because people in North America have still never heard of the brand.

With all that in mind, it blows my mind that someone actually submitted the following question:

"'H5BC' does not sound great and difficult to pronounce. 'Citibank' sounds much better. Any plan to change?"

Here's my suggestion, CountriBank should work since a hard 'C' is easier to pronounce for a fob than a soft 'C'. And a Countri sounds much bigger and important than a Citi.

Or we should make the name inline with our moto "we are the best". Just call the bank.....The Bank. Or The Best Bank. (Below is the 3rd place winner of a tshirt design contest last year. The endless flow of talent and creativity here never ceases to amaze me).

But then again, BB might be confused with Best Buy which is no good since it's a discount electronics store...we obviously can't let our bank be associated with such a cheap brand.

I like sound of repeating letters like BB and hard C's so let's work with that girlfriend. Let's combine that idea with my first idea of Countri...but we'll spell with a 'K' so we have Kountri, just to throw the competition off balance (what will those crazy guys think of next?!?!). We should keep Hong Kong somewhere in the name so that local people can feel some pride about the brand. So Kountri Hong Kong Bank = KHKB.

But that's no good, i want repeating letters like BB. So how about we drop the H because let's face it, Hong kong isn't very hong anymore, it smells like shit.

With Bank, we can just drop the BAN and keep the K because BAN sounds a little negative.

So i propose the new name of our bank:

KKK

We'll finally break into the "unpenetrable" market of the confederate states and gain much needed exposure in the Southern USofA! They'll be lining up to use KKK bank machines.

3 comments:

Heidi said...

The funny thing is that if you presented it to Marketing you might actually convince one or two people.

Single finger salute! said...

Your entry is too long. I can't read it. I am wasted. Try to put it in bullet form you retard.

Single finger salute! said...

I was able to digest your salvo this morning. Hmmmm... interesting.

How about C.U.N.T. - Chinese Internationale National Treasury.

Now that is a winner.