Saturday, March 28, 2009

Assholes from the desert

A closer analysis of Spring in San Diego reveals a transient abundance of Zonies. For those of you not in the know, "Zonie" as defined in the Urban Dictionary refers to -

Short of [sic] Arizonian, these people invade local beach towns in California during the summer causing traffic jams, and straight up annoying the population of the local town [sic].

i.e.,
Person #1: Damn zonies fucking invade San Diego every summer!
Person #2: Fuck i [sicknow! They need to get their own damn town!

*Note the gratuitous usage of the F word and syntactical violations, these are common in the English language as spoken with the San Diego vernacular.

This morning, my little pal and I almost died from one of these douchebags. Driving down the freeway I spied a lifted truck, with half-a-dozen unsecured long boards in the flatbed, merging onto the freeway. Because the boards were not strapped down, there was a high probability of them becoming hazardous to my little pal and I's health. As a responsible parent, I changed lanes from the slow lane to the adjacent one to avoid this truck. The truck merged onto the freeway 15 mph faster than is safe and proceeded to change another lane (the lane I was in) without shoulder checking or signaling. The boards jostled about and appeared about to become airborne. I quickly swerved out of my lane. Luckily there was no other cars in the adjacent lane, otherwise you would be reading about my little pal and I in the newspaper. I then noticed the truck had Arizona plates. I hope the people in that truck get stabbed in PB/OB/MB tonight (p>0.65).

Talking to CR after the incident, we hypothesized they likely surfed Scripps and were on their way back to their MB boardwalk house rental. So predictable ....


2 comments:

Heidi said...

If I lived in San Diego, I would say "the baby is so fucking cute."

Chris said...

We have a saying on two wheels; ahead, alone, alive. Boards can't fly forward.

2.0T DMAC what.