Snow Daze

A massive storm is expected to hit K-Hole this weekend with 30cm (11.8 inches for the imperial system users) of the white stuff. I prepared by securing a covered parking spot for my car and stocking up on milk. I'll have lots to do inside my apartment since I need to research and write my ALR essay.

In other news, I'm currently obsessed with kimchi and jPod, both the book and tv show. I was curious the other day and added kimchi to my canned vegetable soup. I've found my new comfort food. I'm going to go to the Asian market tomorrow to stock up on kimchi for the weekend. I also need to buy more scented candles since heated kimchi is a pungent mofo.

Snowing in the house.

Fig 1 - Tuesday night after work I was greeted with this sight - Christmas wonderland!

Fig 2. Wednesday evening I came home to this.

The last few days have been awful, the house was covered in a layer of fine white dust. Big and Little Luis sanded the mud for a tight and smooth museum finish. The walls look much better now, previously the walls and ceiling had a horrible texture application.

Fig 3. The rickety staircase is still up, the new one has not arrived yet.

The appliances arrived today, the build is moving quickly ahead. Even the kitchen cabinet fuck-up is being fixed (it was my fuck-up, I need to proof plans more carefully in the future). I must admit, our contractor is a great guy. His easy temperament, professionalism, good sense of design and ability to give me the bottom line has made this re-model relatively painless. He never goes into specifics unless I ask for them. All I need to know is if it can be done and the costs involved.

Fig 4. The kitchen has been put back together - the lid, electrical, plumbing, pony wall, ventilation.

In addition, Steven and his extended family are fantastic carpenters, plumbers, electrician, HVAC and drywallers. Another telling sign is the bathroom, they always clean up after themselves. Other contractors (i.e., Chad) make a mess in there (missing the toilet, pouring plastering mud down the toilet etc ...).

Fig 5. The appliances in the garage.

Kitchen Cabinets

I ventured to East County this morning to look at the cabinets. I had my doubts after seeing the sample last week, I was going to have a do-over and choose the skins myself. My concerns about the wood grain were allayed when I saw the mock-up. The wood grains were still too far apart, but seeing the doors together facilitated the grouping of the grains so that they appeared cohesive and thinner (those Gestaltist were onto something I suppose). Once the header and toe kicks are installed it will look clean and tight, sort of like my ass. My only concern is the finish. I want a more natural low sheen finish, I do not want a glossy finish. The last thing I want is for it to look like an Ikea showroom piece. or worse yet the typical North American kitchen (read: ugly as fuck and expensive to boot).

The corner unit is pretty cool. We chose to go with a unit that utilizes the hard to reach corner space. I hope the mechanism can withstand the wife's gorilla hands, she is tough on hardware.

As far as the house, nothing new to report. They are sanding and priming this week. The pictures are pretty boring so I'll spare you the photos of giant dust clouds and piles of white particulate.

The feeling one gets ... FUCK YEAH!

The feeling one gets when they finish a project at work is one of the best, especially when it is a Matlab application. Matlab is especially painful for me as I write line-by-line pseudo code, this makes debugging really, really shitty (ask LT, he loves rewriting other's line-by-line code). The program took three months to write and it finally works! FUCK YEAH! My laziness was the impetus for the present program. I abhor running three hour experiments, it is such a waste of a day when I could be outside instead. With the new program I can, hopefully, collect all the data I need in 20 minutes. I am crossing my fingers that this works, sometimes reality does not quite follow the scribblings in my lab note book.

What a great way to start off the weekend! FUCK YEAH!

Fast forward two weeks ...

The wife and I came back from vacation last Friday. Coming back home has been a downer - house is completely destroyed; missing the family; surrounded by bumpkins; sleep deprivation; jet lag; work; cabinet guy fucking up ...

It was a pleasant surprise yesterday evening to find a package in the mail. The package was from TC5 (no relation to TC3 of Quiksand and Rival Schools fame), who I hired as a research assistant at Duke. We have remained in contact since then, we typically quarrel about music, the Velvet Underground, Decemberists and Oasis. The package contained a piece of art she commissioned of us - the wife, Lex and me. The picture is quite appropriate and typical of the going-ons in our household (i.e., chasing and wresting Lex with noogies and headlocks). In the picture Jen appears to be a citizen of the planet Kamino while I look beefy, like Henry Rollings my neck is the same size as my head. This is a gift we will treasure. I have even picked a location in the house for this piece, right at the top of the staircase underneath the new Artemides eye ball light. Alas this will have to wait until the renovations are completed. Now onto house renovations ...

Since we left on our trip, Steven and his crew have been very busy. All the demolition, framing, plumbing and electrical is completed. Drywall is being completed this week. We are awaiting for the new staircase and cabinets to arrive. In the meantime, they have completely dissembled the old staircase. Nothing is supporting the staircase except for a 2x4 and gravity. It is amazing how vectors can work to your advantage every now and then. They usually work against me, especially during surfing and skateboarding. They removed the handrail and shifted it over to repair the drywall. The dog is nervous about this new staircase set-up. The pantry underneath the stairs has also been completed. We discovered a built in vacuum system in there that we had removed. I plan to use the pantry as a bedroom for the kids sort of like Harry Potter.

Here is a photo of the lower staircase.

The kitchen ceiling was torn out and pushed up 4 inches. The plumbing and electrical were redone completely. The previous contractors, Chad and his dad were careless. Just today Luis had to fix a pipe with nail shot through it. The surrounding dry wall was damaged from the moisture leakage. Chad, that dumb fuck, was not careful when he installed the crown molding in the ceiling. I am surprised the place did not burn down when Chad added eight 60 Volt lights to the 320 Volt transformer. Other things done but not pictured were pushing the dining room wall 4 inches, removing all the crown molding, re-applying dry wall and plaster, removing all molding and applying returns instead and destroying the Pony wall.

Day two - Gates of hell

In addition to the giant vagina in our house, Steven has managed to open the gates of hell. During the course of opening up the pantry, we discovered a previously unknown trap door that leads to the crawlspace. This might have explain the temperature difference between the kitchen and pantry. If you listen closely at night you can hear whispering emanating from the hole. Lex saw a pair of red eyes peering out from the crawlspace (at least that is what she told me).

They also tore down the drywall for the ceiling and the divider. Holy shit.

Close up of the previous renovation work. Looks like Chad ran out of dry wall and instead used a piece of flooring to cement the back splash too. Nice work Chad.

The kitchen looks like a bomb went off.

Another close up of the trap door and the crawlspace. The other hole is underneath the staircase. We plan to re-frame underneath the staircase for a series of drawers that follow the profile of the staircase.

Carnage.

End of Day 1 - A giant orifice in the house.

Figure 1

Figure 2

Figure 3

Figure 4

Figure 5

Figure 6

Figure 7

Figure 8

I came home to an empty kitchen and a giant vagina separating the living and dining room. Stephen and his merry crew erected a safe room using plastic sheeting. To get into the safe room, they installed a giant red zipper for an entry (Fig 1 & 8). Figure 2 is of the wifey stepping into the giant vagina - I suppose this could be read as something Freudian, but at this point I am at a loss for words. Figures 3-7 are what is left of the kitchen. If you look closely in figure 6, you can see a piece of flooring used to brace the drywall. I know for a fact that this was done by Chad, the contractor we used for the garage. Chad is quite a lazy resourceful fellow.

We met the original owner of the house who installed the green marble counter top. He went on and on how expensive the imported Italian marble was. During his monologue, my internal monologue was thinking that green marble reminds me of tombstones and other structures associated with the dead. When we told him our plans to renovate, he got upset and agitated. He took it as a personal insult that we were removing the counter top. I suppose he is right at some level - I think his aesthetics are questionable.

Here we go ...

The crew showed up this afternoon for day one of the renovations. We spent yesterday evening moving the kitchen and dining room to the living room. Phase one will consist of demolition of the kitchen, staircase and dining room. Here are pictures of the old kitchen. The cabinets are the original ones from 1974 with new faces. They are moldy and warped inside. The clearance between the counter and the cabinets is 14". They should be 18", hence the knocked over wine bottles when the cabinets are open. The light source used to be a fluorescent light box that was replaced with an ugly soffit. We are going to push the ceiling up to gain 4 inches . Also, check out the light fixture, it is made of some sort of plastic. The green counter top will also be leaving us. Check out the direction of the wood floor in the dining room. The previous owners were going for a different look I suppose. I am not sure what look it was though because it looks like turtle diarrhea to me.

FUCK YEAH!

Me - 13.1 miles - 1:31:42. That is 4:20 per kilometer or 7 minutes per mile.

My better Half - 26.3 miles - 4:43:51. 10:50 per mile.

Next goal is to run a 1:25 and be sub 18 min for 5K.

Verbatim

Commenting about a hateful classmate that just came back from an exchange in South Africa:

Friend: She gained weight over the summer but didn't lose it last semester. If you can't lose weight in Africa, where can you lose weight?

Oh fuck ...

Two days until race day.
Three days until D-day (Demolition day).
Nothing has been moved in the house.
FUCK!

Karma or an Exercise in Conspicous Consumption?

I lost my scarf and Burberry earmuffs earlier this afternoon. I had them stashed in my knapsack but the bag wasn't zipped closed so the cute and fuzzy earmuffs were in plain view. I suspect that someone helped themselves to my belongings while I wasn't paying attention. I'm pretty careful with my belongings and I always tuck my scarf into my bag since I don't like to carry it with me or loop it around my bag. It would be odd for me to misplace both my scarf and earmuffs.

At first I was bummed out about it, I'd grown very attached to the earmuffs. Since I subscribe to the idea of karma, do good things and good things will happen to you, I wondered if I was being punished for an earlier misdeed. And then I remembered what had happened earlier this week.

Two summers ago I was living in Toronto with two friends. One of my friends is the former roommate of my ex-boyfriend, let's call him Nelly. Nelly had left some of his belongings at the house, including one baking pan in the shape of a sand castle. At the time, I wanted a memento of Nelly so I asked him if I could keep the baking pan. I brought it back with me to Kingston and looked at it from time to time with great fondness. SFS snapped me out of that crazy shit. In one of my rage-fueled benders, I threw out everything that reminded me of Nelly. Gifts, cards, notes, baking pans in the shape of sand castles.

Earlier this week I got a message from Nelly asking me: a) if we were on speaking terms. b) if I had the baking pan, and c) if I did, could I return it to my friend's house, in Toronto. I deleted that shit and have no intention to talk to him.

To wit, in karma's eyes, a pair of Burberry earmuffs is equal to one baking pan shaped like a sand castle, thrown out in spite, and an ignored message that signals that I am still not on speaking terms with my hateful ex-boyfriend.

My response: It was worth it. Best money I ever spent.

Free Corey!

Update: Earmuffs and scarf have been located!

My friend, IFL, found both of them just sitting on a library table. Hooray!

Me: [picking up phone] Hello?

IFL: Black scarf? Burberry earmuffs?

Me: GASP! Did you find them?

IFL: Yeah! They were just sitting on the first table in the librar-

Me: I LOVE YOU! On Valentine's Day, I will be your valentine!

One hundred push-ups

I am in a competition with the sys admin at work to bust out a hundred push-ups. As part of my running I do a set of 50 in the morning and a set of 50 before bedtime. I don't know if I can do a hundred, a hundred is a fuck load.

We need to come up with some sort of humiliation for the loser.

All suggestions welcome.

Free Corey!

He has 6 minutes left on the clock.

Apparently You Do Have to Say Sorry

Corey the party kid got arrested. DListed put it best:

Corey Delaney is the douche teenager I posted about yesterday who threw "the best party ever." Well, looks like Corey's party is over. The 16-year-old was arrested this morning in Australia. The charges? Australian newspapers are reporting that he's been charged with producing child pornography and creating a public nuisance.

Looks like idiot Corey left the tapes behind and his parents and police found them. Corey was on the run from his parents after news of the party broke. He was reportedly questioned and then released to return next month to court.

He's just as dumb as I thought he was. Corey's going to need his famous sunglasses when he's in jail. He's going to need them to hide the tears while he's getting gang banged. Oh Corey! Why do you have to be so dumb?

Being cool means never having to say sorry.

This kid is hilarious, he basically does what every kid does to the n-th degree. His parents leave town and he throws a party that is raided by the police. A riot breaks out and he is fined $20,000. He is unrepentant about the party. Watch the youtube clip, the smug interviewer is made to look like an ass at the end. As put in the news, "she got steamrolled." Win one for the good guys.

Classic lines from the clip:

Interviewer: Take off those glasses.
Kid: I'll say sorry but I'm not taking off the glasses.
Interviewer: Why not?
Kid: Cuz they're famous ...

Interviewer: What would you say to other kids who's parents are out of town?
Kid: Get me to do it for you.

Interviewer: "Go away and take a good long hard look at yourself."
Kid: "I have, everyone has and they love it."

My life thus far...

It's been a while since I've posted an entry on here. Ever since they blocked all blogs and forums at work, I feel a little shaky. It's hard to vent my passive aggressive frustrations when I'm unable to do so on the spot.

Recent memories include going to a Linkin Park concert. Shuttup, i know i know. I figured it's been a long time since I've been to any concert that i might as well check these guys out. Well what can i say? They suck even more live. My god do they suck. 4 pints of beer didn't even make them seem cooler.

I got a new LED clock the other day. Totally awesome, it comes in 3 blocks (one each for hour, minute, and second) and is bright enough to light my house up with a heavenly glow.

For new years, i made it a point NOT to have any plans this year. Man was it awesome. Just go where ever the hell I want with no schedule to follow. We cooked an awesome dinner at home, then trekked over to Joanne's house which had an awesome view of Central. I managed to take some photos of the fireworks and they mostly turned out ok.

Then I went over to a friend's house for a little poker where i proceeded to win beer money. We finally made our way to Lan Kwai Fong at 2am because I wanted to see the morons out in full-force. As expected, the stupidity of people didn't let me down. Drunken fools were trying to open up taxi (in short supply that night) doors while the car was moving at FULL SPEED. I had my camera ready to capture any splatter, but unfortunately there were none.

How did everybody else's new years go?

Art in the mail

I recently got two prints in the mail - limited edition 12 color silkscreens. I cannot wait to framed them for the staircase. I wonder what guests will think.

I've met cats and dogs smarter than Corey and Trevor.

A new year is upon us. This blog has been quiet of late. Well let me tell you what I have been up to and of upcoming items of interest.

My office neighbor is a visiting professor from Canada. He introduced me to two fine Canadian programs that are sponsored by the NFB - Trailer Park Boys and Kenny vs Spenny. TPB makes me miss Canada, there is something to be said about Canadian rednecks. They seem less threatening than their American counterparts. The ones in Canada smoke pot, listen to Rush, drink Molson, watch hockey etc ... these are all things that I do too! The ones here will shoot you with their guns or fuck you in the ass Deliverance style. I grew up in the middle of a hick province, I saw dudes like this hanging out at Heritage Mall in their IROCs or kicking the shit out of people at Harry Ainlay.

Our high school only had a few of these guys, one guy that comes to mind is Ken Vine. However, Ken was a small fry, he was the redneck at a nerd school. How hard could one be attending OSA? Our harmless pranks consisted of spraying the outside of the school in mustard and ketchup, stink bombs, destroying the curtains, stealing exams etc... I recall him hopping off a ladder in the auditorium and on to the handle of a vacuum. The vacuum handle ripped his jeans and nearly ripped him a new asshole. He had to get stitches, the joke at the time was, "Ken tried to get an asshole transplant, but the asshole rejected him. "

Anyways, our home renovations start soon. I will be posting pictures of the progress these upcoming months.

First two photos of my fine city courtesy of LT. The third one is of my favorite pal.

PS. Remind me to tell you stories about the janitor from our high school. He was the high priest of a local coven of witches and warlocks. Eugene P. could fuck you up big time.

Guitar Hero

Did you watch last week's South Park episode? Can't you just imagine Little Thingies and SFS doing this every day in HK? Watch the YouTube clip.

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