Friday, January 18, 2008

Karma or an Exercise in Conspicous Consumption?

I lost my scarf and Burberry earmuffs earlier this afternoon. I had them stashed in my knapsack but the bag wasn't zipped closed so the cute and fuzzy earmuffs were in plain view. I suspect that someone helped themselves to my belongings while I wasn't paying attention. I'm pretty careful with my belongings and I always tuck my scarf into my bag since I don't like to carry it with me or loop it around my bag. It would be odd for me to misplace both my scarf and earmuffs.

At first I was bummed out about it, I'd grown very attached to the earmuffs. Since I subscribe to the idea of karma, do good things and good things will happen to you, I wondered if I was being punished for an earlier misdeed. And then I remembered what had happened earlier this week.

Two summers ago I was living in Toronto with two friends. One of my friends is the former roommate of my ex-boyfriend, let's call him Nelly. Nelly had left some of his belongings at the house, including one baking pan in the shape of a sand castle. At the time, I wanted a memento of Nelly so I asked him if I could keep the baking pan. I brought it back with me to Kingston and looked at it from time to time with great fondness. SFS snapped me out of that crazy shit. In one of my rage-fueled benders, I threw out everything that reminded me of Nelly. Gifts, cards, notes, baking pans in the shape of sand castles.

Earlier this week I got a message from Nelly asking me: a) if we were on speaking terms. b) if I had the baking pan, and c) if I did, could I return it to my friend's house, in Toronto. I deleted that shit and have no intention to talk to him.

To wit, in karma's eyes, a pair of Burberry earmuffs is equal to one baking pan shaped like a sand castle, thrown out in spite, and an ignored message that signals that I am still not on speaking terms with my hateful ex-boyfriend.

My response: It was worth it. Best money I ever spent.

Free Corey!

Update: Earmuffs and scarf have been located!

My friend, IFL, found both of them just sitting on a library table. Hooray!
Me: [picking up phone] Hello?

IFL: Black scarf? Burberry earmuffs?

Me: GASP! Did you find them?

IFL: Yeah! They were just sitting on the first table in the librar-

Me: I LOVE YOU! On Valentine's Day, I will be your valentine!

1 comment:

Heidi said...

Fuck yeah!

I really don't know if someone took my stuff or if I really was that careless and misplaced both items. Oh well, I'll be more carefully in the future. Maybe even stitch nametags on them.