BAT SHIT CRAZY!

Like I have always said, peeps in Hong Kong are motherfucking crazy. How evil do you have to be to do this kind of shit. Judge needs to put her and her own son away for life. You don't want those crazy genes out there. I would at least petition to have her ovaries removed. Crazy bitch.

I Just Came Up with This Year's X-Mas Card for Our Parents

Update: Little Thingies requested that I repost and give J a haircut. Who knew he cared so much about J's hair?

Countdown to Exams

Four 100%-weighted exams. Shit.

Things overheard ...

Sunday morning 7 a.m. while changing into my wetsuit at Pipes I heard this yelling, "DON'T MAKE ME! MAKE YOU! LOOK LIKE A PUSSY IN FRONT OF YOUR KIDS!!!" The "me" and "you" was emphasized and elongated for full dramatic effect.

I turned to peek who said that and it was two surfer Spicoli types. Classic So Cal.

If you don't know who Spicoli is, I feel sorry for you man.

Life in the Student Ghetto

My only decoration is my Hello Kitty calendar.

As an added bonus, here's a picture of my empty fridge. I need to buy groceries.

Deep Throat

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My God...

Ladies and Gentleman, I present to you...Tommy Lee Jones as seen by the Japanese.

Silly pig, doritos are for me

Seriously, what is up with Stinkie? I lent a dvd to one of my other colleagues and he brought it back yesterday. Stinkie went up to him, talked about the movie for a bit, and just took it. No, he didn't bother asking me if he could borrow it, he just took it. I turned around and asked him "you taking that home?"

And he single-handedly ate a tube of special Pringles from our friday meeting snack stash. Another colleague went to england and brought that back, they were actually quite good. But this sucker just finished off the whole thing himself. The kicker is that he never donates money to the snack fund, even i do for shit's sake. This is his usual practice: take food from the stash, take my doritos with his grubby hands, or waits until someone is on leave before going to their desk and taking their food. And every once in a while, someone will ask "where the hell did all the snacks go? Are the janitors stealing our food???"

This type of behavior just blows my mind. And his shirt/pants? Still the same ones; 90 days and counting since the last time he probably washed them.

Straight out of Canton.

Who are these guys -Down Lo Mein, HK Fever, Hunan Bomb? The beats and rhymes are dope.
Do the NY peeps on here (i.e., Shorter_Name) know them? Are they friends with Live from NY? I need to know. I usually dislike Asian ethnic humor (i.e., that space monster Margarent Cho, that one guy from Mad TV), but this is quite funny. HK Fever's accent is so on the money, it sounds like Bruce Lee from Enter the Dragon.

BANANAS

Have you peeps seen this? This is such awesomeness. No more squashed bananas for lunch. However, it does sort of look obscene.

Bitches!

What's going on here bitches? I see this site has reached its first anniversary.

So what's new bitches?!!

Muslim Veils

If these jack asses cannot adapt to their guest countries' norms and traditions, maybe they should go back home. No one is forcing them to stay in Australia or England for that matter. I think the underlying message he is really saying is that Muslim men are savages and cannot keep their genitals in check.

While I am on my soap box, why did Madonna not just give the father money to raise the child. I do not see Bono, Bill and Melinda Gates, Oprah adopting children. The English should boot her out of their country. Send her back to Detroit with her fake ass English accent.

I just opened Pandora's box

So in my department, we have a stash of junk food and drinks for our Friday meetings (casual affairs where we discuss things). The food is bought with money donated by some of us, but of course not everyone contributes to the fund.

Stinky, who happens to sit beside the stash, is always going to crazy town on that shit. His contributions to the fund are obvious as I wouldn't write this entry if otherwise. Every so often, someone will make the comment "what the hell happened to all the food? Is someone stealing it??" Think about the trouble of going to buy this shit during lunch time and you can imagine my annoyance.

I'm always hungry in the office, so i bought bags of doritos. I made the mistake of sharing them one day. Some acted like the Flanders' kids on pixie sticks for the very first time; they were like WOW. Stinky just came back for more and more like he does whenever i have candy or whatever. And the thought of his grubby hands in there...yech. Given his history, I don't think i can ever eat doritos in peace.

I WANT DORITOS IN THE OFFICE BUT I CAN'T!!!! YOU SEE WHAT I HAVE TO PUT UP WITH HERE??? AARGGGGH WHY IS MY LIFE SO HARD??? !@#$#%

Can I say how awesome this is ...

Comments please.

"Everyone in this Room is Now Dumber for Having Listened to It"

When Little Thingies said that he'd just ordered three of Adam Sandler's movies on Amazon, I immediately thought of the above quote and laughed until I fell out of my chair. Then when I picked myself off of the floor I remembered this Smoking Gun article that was passed around a while ago and fell out of my chair laughing again.

My goal in life after I get out of law school is to use the same quote in a similar context somehow and somewhere.

Ghost busting in the 858

We went to Whaley House this weekend in Old Town. The house is said to be the most haunted house in North America. I started the evening off with two gin and tonics at home. This was followed by a double shot margarita. We were now ready. We saw NOTHING!!! We each payed $10 to go in. Such a let down. Afterwards we drank some more next door. BAH!

It's Miller Time!!! Or Milwaukee's Best time..

It's the start of Mid-Autumn Festival here and we just had our little office party. I joked to the secretary we should get beer...and she took me seriously like I hoped. Anyways, I'm drinking at the office right now and it's giving me a different perspective on life...like what the hell am I doing here when I should be at a real bar??

No need for terrorists!

Let me give you an idea of the kind of people I'm dealing with in HK. So i have nice hand towels in the washroom. Like the expensive kind that feel nice on your skin. I placed it in a towel bowl (actually, a nice dinner bowl) so it would make the washroom attractive. Some people came in to work on the washroom yesterday. I assume it went something like this:

"We need something to wipe this shit up...oh what's this? Perfect!"

When dad came to check on them, they were like wiping the floor with my towel although there were raggedy cleaning towels in plain site.

Oh yeah, you know how AC units have an little trapper to collect exhaust water and send it down a tube? The people that installed it, they figured if they use tape to attach the trapper, it would be good enough. Sure enough, the trap just fell off, just hanging by a little piece of tape. So i didn't even realize my AC unit was pouring water down onto the apartment front door below until i was wondering what all that splashing sound was.

Dad put it best. If these were the types of people that built airplanes, how safe would you feel?

UPDATE: So I was right. At first it was just too impossibly stupid to be true. When i told my dad, he didn't believe me people could be so retarded. Not only did the AC technician improperly install the water trap, he improperly installed the WHOLE FUCKING THING. When i looked at the AC, it looked like it was being held up by scrap, rotting, wooden pegs. But i thought it was just my tired eyes seeing things. I also noticed how the AC was awkwardly pointing upwards; I thought maybe all AC units do that now for more efficient cooling of the room. But another technician came in today and said "yup, that's fucked up, those wooden legs aren't even the right height." He had to pull the whole thing out and properly reinstall it.

So, if a strong typhoon had hit HK, it could've probably blew the AC off its legs where the shock would've probably caused it to bounce around before falling 5 floors down. But I guess people throwing boiling soy sauce and other random shit out the window wouldn't be surprised by a falling AC unit.

So the lesson you should learn here is that if you ever have to do renovations in HK, make sure you're there to supervise it. If possible, you should have a gun pointed at their heads while they do so. Otherwise they'll just F you in the A.

Indian Summer

Summer is still here. Nothing to report on this front. Work, surf, eat, sleep. Life is such. Ordered a new surfboard for the winter. Should come in 7 weeks.

Going to go see the Brian Jonestown Massacre tonight. The Tyde are opening. Should be good.

Lord of the Flies

Nothing really new to report on my end, except that I still think my ex is a selfish asshole and that I have fruit flies in my apartment.

I think the fruit flies came about when I opened up a cantelope a few weeks and failed to dispose of the rinds and guts right away. A can of Raid and a few sheets of flypaper later, I think I've taken care of most of the bugs. But now I'm scared to leave organic garbage out and the garbage disposal area in my building is seriously sketchy and has an even worse problem with flies. So I've settled for putting all my organic waste in a baggie in my freezer and tossing it out on garbage day. So if you ever come over to my place, the ice cream is next to the bag of frozen banana peels and egg shells. Yes, I'm aware of how disgusting that is.