The mean streets of HK

Ok, i think we have a contender for a proper follow-up to the crazy lady video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RSHziqJWYcM

Good opportunity for anyone wishing to brush up on their chinese.

The Hyundai of Martial Arts

I just came across this article:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/5020804.stm

I can't decide which is stranger- Iraqi people practicing TKD, or that their olympic TDK team surrender and get taken hostage. Of course, if this was a troll blog, someone would go on to say something like "for a second there, i thought you were talking about the French."

But to be fair, I do realize the bad guys had guns and would've gotten their asses kicked without them. What is this world coming to? There's no more honor in hand-to-hand combat.

Aug 26th.

Design by our RISD graduate cousin. Check it out yo! I have no idea how the colors got inverted, but it looks even doper.

Update On My Broken Body

PapaHeidi finally talked me into seeing a doctor today. So my vacation is officially complete now that I've visited the hospital and came away with four different types of meds and an anti-inflammatory shot.

Wait, I still haven't taken my picture with Mickey yet. Okay, on Sunday, after Disneyland, my vacation will be officially complete.

Oh yeah, the diagnosis was a throat infection.

I Broke My Body

Speaking of immune systems, mine has completely left me. One week in HK's smog and my body has pitifully given up. My lungs feel like they're on fire everytime I breathe. And they're so weak that I'm afriad that if I cough too hard, they'll explode.

If it were possible I'd cut open my chest, remove my lungs, soak them in disinfectant and give them a good scrubbing and massage before returning them to my chest.

I can't believe I'm actually saying this, but I miss K-Hole. I'm too used to the air there now; a lot less people drive and indoor smoking has been banned so it's much cleaner.

ZOO TIME!!! Get down on the way up!

So I am having a party at the zoo. It will be so much fun that people will lose their minds. Open bar!!!!! Anyways, I am currently pissed at my brothers' employer (who shall remain nameless). All I have to say is that they should let them break their vacation up. It is the least they can do for them. For fuck's sake, they have to sit in offices with people reeking like chinese sausage. Fucking low-lifes. FUCK THE MAN!!!!!!!!

And don't forget, this what you get for fucking with primates. FUCKING HIV. GO VEGETARIAN!!!!! People are such barbarians in Africa. How do you eat bush meat? You might as well be a cannibal and eat your own kin. 99.7% shared genetics is no fluke.

Wooah woh oh those summer nights..

Jesus H Christ, it's summer season again and someone in my office really reeks. It's that sickly Chinese BO/MSG/mothball smell that makes me wanna throw up. For some reason it's blowing my way today and it's making me sick. I have some clues as to who it is...basically the whole department.

If my olfactory nerves were my eyes, i'd ask someone to stab them to save me from such a horrible vision.

the coolest video of all time

Check this! This is the greatest video of all time!

This is the song that is going through your head when you are leaving someone's house at 6 in the morning! What an amazing fucking feeling!!!

Coolest man on this planet ...

Watch this video of Richard Ashcroft on Regis and Kathy Lee. Watch the interview at the end. This video shows why he is quite possibly the coolest person ever. He gives off the vibe of undeniable cool.

Cooking Catastrophe

So I whipped up a batch of ill Indo curry tonight. The recipe from Grandma K requires a red chili puree. I mashed some up some fierce red chilis in the blender. Apparently the gaseous compounds released from the puree'ing ended up in my nose. My nose started burning up and I jumped in the shower. What I really wanted was to pour milk on my head. The shower did not help so I ended up just waiting it out - i.e., the pain receptors got so blown out that they ceased to register/sense/transmit any sort of noxious stimulation. The curry was pretty ill. Now the tissue under my finger nails are hurting. I wish I had some ice cream to stick my fingers in.

I've Lost My Blog!

The Heidi Report ran away. I don't know where it is or how to fix the problen. Blogger's help section is absolutely useless. Arg.

Anyway, this Sunday is Mother's Day. Be sure to call your moms and grandmas!

Silent Hill...

So i finally got to watch this movie since 3 years they announced they were making it. First of, the acting was horrendous. I think the movie would've been better if the main characters just ran around with nothing to say. Other than that, the transition scenes from normal world to hell were really well done. If you've played the game, you know what i'm talking about. These scenes were loud and made the movie a true Silent Hill experience. The plot loosely follows the first game. If you never played it, then there are some gaps that won't make any sense in the movie.

But the star of the movie...Pyramid Head....like anyone would expect. The level of brutality went from 5 to like 11 in any of the scenes he was in. Crazy, I never saw those parts coming.

The characters were annoying but the visuals alone make the movie worth watching. If you liked the games, you'll like the movie. Otherwise you'll probably hate it.

God high-fives Jesus every time a right-wing Christian wingnut is infected with HIV.

MONCHICHI!!!

This one is for Little Thingies because he is such a cry baby.

Look What I Found in the Basement!

Monchichi!
(Try to figure out which doll matches up to xcharlesbronsonx, little thingies, J and myself)

MONCHICHI!

Dude Looks Like a....Monchichi Doll?

I'm right now in Edmonton and saw J whom I haven't seen for about 2 1/2 years. He lost the shaggy hair and went from looking like a Hong Kong pop idol to a Japanese toy .

More Tales of My Dirty House

The kitchen is in better shape this week. Stuff gets put into the dishwasher more quickly and there is less crap left on the counter....well, on the top of it anyway. I was leaning on the counter today and when I pulled away my shirt was stuck to the counter so I had to PEEL MY SHIRT AWAY from the counter.

so i sent an email out to a few of you, but i don't know if you guys still use the same email address...so i'll just copy and paste to this blog.

bored at work or whatever it is that you are doing? this could be your lucky day b/c you can go through "art" and help me out!

recently i applied for Projekt30's gallery show for may 2006 in which only 30 artists will be participating. right now, all applicants' (and there's quite a few) art pieces are online for public voting. so through my calculations, i figured that in order for me to be part of the real show, i need to be one of the 30 people with the highest number of votes. so this all depends on you!

go to this website: http://www.projekt30.com/jury.html
and then go to "jury the exhibition" on the left. look for my name and give me a rating of 5 and all the others 1's! actually... just can skip everybody and once you see my name, give me a 5 so the others don't get any points from you guys. however, some of the people do have good stuff. but, i still only gave them a 2 or 3.
it may take awhile before you actually see my turn come up b/c the order of people is random but plllease do this for me b/c i need to whore my name around the art world and this would help me out.

because i applied to the show, Projekt30 also has given me a webspace. the site: www.daphnelo.30art.com

pretty pretty please vote for me. please take the time to go through all the pages of people and finding my name and giving me a highly suggested 5.
please send this to your family, your friends, people i know and don't know, people i forgot to send this email to...everybody! you all will be helping a good cause and i will love each and everyone of you...even more!

thanks everybody. hope you're all doing well.

daph

Minor Annoyance

There are two things in the news presently that annoy me. One, the Iran nuclear enrichment and two, the Duke Lacrosse team rape case.

1) Iran
The thing really gets me in this is the lack of a consistent Bush foreign policy. Iran does not even have nuclear weapons, and yet we allow a nut case country like North Korea to exist? Going to war with Iran will send oil prices sky high and will lead to a global recession, and not to mention 9/11 will look like kid's stuff.

2) Duke LAX
This case has Tawna Brawley written all over it. I predict that the Lacrosse team will be cleared, and conspiracy theories of a cover-up will abound. I would suggest that after all the hullaballoo, Duke University should sue the shit out of the D.A. for libel and defamation, and for good measure the accuser. People like this should not be allowed to exist.

Anyways, these two things are unimportant. What is important is my animal death match idea! Do you thing a Kodiak bear could fight 10 pitbulls? Or how about 20 bob cats fighting a male adult elephant? Or what about lion versus a rodeo bull? Those bulls are mean motherfuckers.